Lost a friend this morning

[Nesikep]

Got a phone call this morning that one of my good friends passed away over night.. I've known him for about 6 years, which isn't a whole long time, but I knew right away he was one of those good, old-time folk.. he was the kind of guy who'd help anyone out, and refuse payment. In February he had a stroke, and lost a lot of condition, he came back home in March, with home care assistance and had another stroke, then was diagnosed with bone cancer... Hate to see him go, I had a lot I could still learn from him, but I'm glad he isn't suffering anymore. Now the fighting starts, his ex girlfriend is a bit of a piece of work, and he doesn't have a will... has a daughter who seems to have her stuff together, and his son is a drug addict, and in this small town there's a lot of vultures.. Neal had a lot of unique stuff.. a wall full of odd-ball wrenches, and odds and ends like that..

 

[Ky hills]

I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.

 

[slick4591]

My condolences. Friends are hard to part with.

 

[TN Cattle Man]

Sorry to hear about your friend... My condolences.

 

[TexasBred]

Sorry to hear of your loss Nesi. Good folks like that are hard to find.

 

[Nesikep]

It took a bit of courage every week to go see him in the hospital... I can take care of sick animals just fine, but I'm not good at it with people.. I'm not good at knowing what to say (if there is such a thing)

 

[Rafter S]

I'm not good at knowing what to say (if there is such a thing)

In most cases I don't think there is anything you can say that will help, and it's not expected. Just being there is what's important.

 

[Nesikep]

I'm not good at knowing what to say (if there is such a thing)

In most cases I don't think there is anything you can say that will help, and it's not expected. Just being there is what's important.

I think that's true, doesn't help the awkwardness though. He had difficulty speaking because of the stroke, but I know he had no problem understanding.. He had a dairy cow until he went into hospital... I'd stop in and show him pictures of the calves, and how things were going around here.. There'd be long moments of silence, but with him those weren't awkward, he was a guy who'd take his time to speak.

 

[dun]

Sadly, the older you get the more friends you'll lose along the way.
With any luck you'll get to be one of the old timers.

 

[Nesikep]

I think he was only 68 or so... He was cut from the same cloth as the rancher across the river who passed 2 years ago, also a good friend of mine.. most of my friends are a decade or more older than I am

 

[TCRanch]

I'm sorry, Nesi. I lost my mentor a couple years ago due to chronic health problems, also only 68 & a rancher all his life. It's hard to visit someone who was larger than life & suddenly reduced to sitting in a recliner with an oxygen tank but I know how much he appreciated it & I'm certain your friend did as well.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

I'm so sorry to hear that Nesi. Sometimes a good friend is even closer than family. You have my condolences.

As for his affairs being settled, sounds like it could be a mess, I hate seeing that kind of thing.

 

[Nesikep]

I'm glad the end came quickly for him.. He wasn't in great health for a long time, but until February he was fine living at home, milking his cow, and puttering about on something or another in the shop... There are some low-lifes in town that were circling his possessions and laying claims 2 weeks after he went into hospital the first time... he was made aware of it and he had some choice words for them ... LIKE HE!! HE'S GETTING THAT!!!
His house is on the same lot as 2 of his brothers (one who isn't living there currently), so I don't know what's going to happen there... it's in rough shape and isn't really rentable without a MAJOR renovation (which no one will do). It's an old house built out of mill ends.. impossible to insulate too.

They say good friends are the family you get to choose.. I don't have much for either, but am lucky to have a few exceptional friends.

 

[Nesikep]

Just found out another old-timer from the area passed away a few hours before my friend.. This guy was a heavy equipment operator, always kept his machinery chromed and painted like it was new, he was in his late 80's I think. For a small town we've really lost a lot of old timers in the last while

 

[Supa Dexta]

If someone is in poor health and knows they are on the way out, I dont understand why they can't take an hour and get a will thrown together.

 

[Bestoutwest]

Finding good friends is extremely difficulty. Losing them is unbearable. Sorry, Nesi.

 

[skyhightree1]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[backhoeboogie]

It took a bit of courage every week to go see him in the hospital... I can take care of sick animals just fine, but I'm not good at it with people.. I'm not good at knowing what to say (if there is such a thing)

There is nothing to say. And everything to say at the same time. Its best to just let them start a conversation and follow with what's on their mind.

You were there. That's what's important.