Losing a child
- Thread starter Frankie
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kickinbull
Well-known member
We have close neighbors/friends that lost their 20 something son, she said it's something that you never get over.Part might be because it's hard for the children to go before the parents.
hillsdown
Well-known member
No I do not, but you learn to accept it hopefully, and live with the memories, the sad and the happy.
Why do you ask Frankie as this is kind of out of left field all of a sudden ? I hope everything is OK .
Why do you ask Frankie as this is kind of out of left field all of a sudden ? I hope everything is OK .
hillsdown":2g6pcld0 said:
Everything is fine with my family. Thank you for asking. No, a friend/neighbor stopped by today to borrow some Nuflor. They lost their 23 year old daughter earlier this year in a car wreck. It was the first time I had seen her since the funeral. I'd seen him and talked to him on the phone several times, but they're both hurting so badly. If it's this hard for me to deal with their pain; I can't imagine how they get through the days.
Hopefully time will be their friend.
Frankie":2oy8af73 said:Do you think anyone ever gets over the death of one of their children? It's so sad.
Unfortunately Frankie we know too well the pain of that sad state.
My oldest son's best friend from 1st grade through high school was found dead by his mother a few months ago of an apparent overdose, he was 30yrs old. His parents are devastated, he had been troubled since 10th grade, unfortunately this was the expected result. That however does not mitigate the pain they feel.
My middle son's best friend of the same duration died almost the same way 4 years ago, the only difference being he was about to graduate from college with a degree in Construction Engineering. His death was VERY unexpected, and very much accidental.
So two young men, young men who were both taken in the prime of their lives leaving parents to live with that horrer forever. Both of them literally grew up in my home and their loss has hurt us beyond words. I cannot face either family to this day without tears in my eyes, or theirs.
So Frankie the short answer is , No.
I pray you do not ask this because of a loss you have suffered, yourself.
I lost one of my best friends at 25 to heart failure. We were born 4 days apart and close all thru school. That was 7 years ago, now whenever I run into his parents I still get that lump in my throat and it takes everything I've got to make passing conversation with them. You can see in their eyes how it has changed them.
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My mother and Father buried three of their children. My oldest brother was killed by the pto on a tractor. I was only five years old at the time but it seems like yesterday, we were in the field nearby when it happened. He was 21 years old.
One sister died at six months old.
Another brother died from a car wreck, 33 years old.
I don,t think my parents ever got over the lost, it was something they just had to live with. It had to be a very heavy burden they carried all of their lives.
One sister died at six months old.
Another brother died from a car wreck, 33 years old.
I don,t think my parents ever got over the lost, it was something they just had to live with. It had to be a very heavy burden they carried all of their lives.
MO_cows
Well-known member
I don't think you ever get over it. An aunt-in-law raised 10 kids, she had 11 but one died as an infant. That was over 40 years ago, she still talks about that baby sometimes. Another lady I know lost a toddler son very tragically in a fire. She raised 4 other kids of her own plus a couple foster kids. Someone close to her told me she still has some of that baby's things and takes them out and cries over them once in a while. Even though these ladies went on with their lives by all appearances, they still feel the pain.
A neighbour's oldest son and my daughters "intended" killed himself in the barn - shot himself a few years back. 24 years old.
We still wonder what signs we missed.
All because of BSE and the inability to cope with the probable loss of the family farm (according to the note) - which he had recently taken over.
No, you do not get over it - and yes you deal with it every day - and perhaps someday my oldest will move completely on.
Loss of a child AND suicide - marked us all for eternity
[Bez]
We still wonder what signs we missed.
All because of BSE and the inability to cope with the probable loss of the family farm (according to the note) - which he had recently taken over.
No, you do not get over it - and yes you deal with it every day - and perhaps someday my oldest will move completely on.
Loss of a child AND suicide - marked us all for eternity
[Bez]
Angus Cowman
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NO you don't get over it!!
no matter how much it bothers any of you and how sad it makes you
you can't imagine the pain and the hurt til you have experienced it your self
no matter how much it bothers any of you and how sad it makes you
you can't imagine the pain and the hurt til you have experienced it your self
Calman
Well-known member
When a young man of twenty I lost a wife and two daughters to a tornado in Mo.while I was serving overseas.
That has been forty six years ago and the memory remains.Although I have went on with my life and have a wonderfull family now there's still some memories.
Time will heal the pain but don't wipe the memory.
Cal
That has been forty six years ago and the memory remains.Although I have went on with my life and have a wonderfull family now there's still some memories.
Time will heal the pain but don't wipe the memory.
Cal
No,I don't think so. I've lost my oldest daughter to drugs.. Oh she's still alive,but I lost my beautiful daughter all the same. Also,my youngest daughter and I seem to be raceing to the finish line,she from lukemia/lymphoma and me from colon cancer. Honestly I hope I go first.
grannysoo
Well-known member
Frankie":2w23zdxt said:
No. I don't think you can ever get over it. We were designed to die before our children, however things happen.
I grieve with those that have lost children. It's something that I hope I never have to deal with.
bigbull338
Well-known member
i can answer your q as well.as ive had friends an family go through that.they never forget their loss.even tho the pain may lessen as years pass.the pain is still there.some never get over it at all.an they stay in a deep dark depression.
TexasBred
Well-known member
Frankie":vi3wyohl said:Do you think anyone ever gets over the death of one of their children? It's so sad.
Frankie, so far I haven't hard to experience it so I honestly can't answer on my behalf, however, my three older siblings passed away while my mom was living and I know it hurt beyond anything I could ever imagine. She was a tough lady and made it a long time but you could tell they all were always on her mind. I do know that when anyone dies don't ever tell the survivor's "I know how you feel" because you don't !!!! Death is handled differently by everyone.
My grandmother lost two babies at birth and one as a 3-year old. Though she raised six healthy kids, I know she never got over them. Thank you for sharing your stories. Several years ago, when a cousin was killed, my aunt attended some grief counseling sessions for people who had lost children. As far as I could tell, they didn't help her; she really fell apart when her son was killed and hasn't got it together since. She had always been the live wire of the family, but the spark went out when her baby boy (32) was killed. I think I'll see if those sessions are still going on and offer to go with my friend to the first one.
chrisy
Well-known member
No it is something you never get over, you just have to learn to live with it, I have lost two Sons one at birth (cot death) and one at 25 years old. they are different feelings, one you loose all of your dreams of what might have been if that baby had lived, and the older one you miss and you have all those memories, I can tell you it cuts your heart in half, my eldest son died 3 days before my youngests Sons 6th birthday, and we had to have his funeral on his birthday, as he died so far away from home and we didn't want to travel his body, so he was cremated and we could take his ashes home. He had just gone to University been away from home for 2 weeks and he was diagnosed with Leukemia, and died within 6 weeks. but must not dwell.
Lost my son at age 16 in 2003. His mom and I have been divorced for years, didnt get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked. He was going to move to live with me when we came back to take over the family ranch. Felt like my whole world died that day. I guess this place, after 3 generations, ends with me. No,......you don't ever get over it. It is a pain that cannot be explained. I talk to him every day.
Don't know if this link will work on here, but,..something I did to let the world know he was here.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... D=53079704
Don't know if this link will work on here, but,..something I did to let the world know he was here.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... D=53079704
chrisy
Well-known member
grubbie...that was a very nice video, what a good looking lad he was....thanks for sharing, I really liked the music the words were so poignant, knowing the pain it must have been hard to do.grubbie":28xgaatu said:
