Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
lessons form kids
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="certherfbeef" data-source="post: 184601" data-attributes="member: 190"><p>The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...</p><p></p><p>Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):</p><p></p><p>1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.</p><p>house 4</p><p>inches deep.</p><p></p><p>2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with</p><p>roller</p><p>blades, they can ignite.</p><p></p><p>3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded</p><p>restaurant.</p><p></p><p>4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong</p><p>enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a</p><p>Superman cape.</p><p>It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint</p><p>on all</p><p>four walls of a 20x20 ft.room</p><p></p><p>5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When</p><p>using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times</p><p>before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.</p><p></p><p>6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit</p><p>by a ceiling fan.</p><p></p><p>7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "uh oh," it's already</p><p>too late</p><p></p><p>8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.</p><p></p><p>9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a</p><p>36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.</p><p></p><p>10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year</p><p>old Boy.</p><p></p><p>11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.</p><p></p><p>12.) Super glue is forever.</p><p></p><p>13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still</p><p>can't walk on water.</p><p></p><p>14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.</p><p></p><p>15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials</p><p>show they do.</p><p></p><p>16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.</p><p></p><p>17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.</p><p></p><p>18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.</p><p></p><p>19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not</p><p>like ovens.</p><p></p><p>20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.</p><p></p><p>21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms</p><p>dizzy.</p><p></p><p>22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.</p><p></p><p>23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.</p><p></p><p>24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and</p><p>brakefluid.</p><p></p><p>Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without</p><p>boys do it because:</p><p></p><p>a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!</p><p>b) For those who already have children past this age, this is</p><p>hilarious.</p><p>c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.</p><p>d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.</p><p>e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.</p><p></p><p><strong>Later ya'll, I'm headed to the tool shed with my bottle of Clorox!!!!</strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="certherfbeef, post: 184601, member: 190"] The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding): 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft.room 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "uh oh," it's already too late 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brakefluid. Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because: a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. [b]Later ya'll, I'm headed to the tool shed with my bottle of Clorox!!!![/b] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
lessons form kids
Top