lessons form kids

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certherfbeef

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The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4
inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller
blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all
four walls of a 20x20 ft.room

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "uh oh," it's already
too late

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
brakefluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
boys do it because:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Later ya'll, I'm headed to the tool shed with my bottle of Clorox!!!!
 
Oh, these sound so familiar!! With 3 boys in the house we've just about seen it all already. The one that is the biggest laugh now & was the worst experience then was the night that the youngest flushed the oldest's prized crystal (a 5" diameter sparkly rock) down the toilet because he was mad. As I was sopping up the water from the overflowing toilet the middle one decided to test the emergency fire dept. response on the new security system - it worked. By the time the fire dept. got there I was ankle deep in toilet water & ready to string all 3 of them up. The firefighters got a big laugh though....
 
Can empithise Chrisy, 1 tomboy daughter, + 2 hyperactive C.P. sons, we were really put through the mill for far too many years-but we survived! And learned many interesting 'facts of life'.
 
TxCoUnTrYbOy":19b4a1bu said:
Hmm, Clorox and Brake Fluid. Ill have to investigate more on this.

Hubby wouldn't let me have the brake fluid. I'll tell ya tomorrow...he has to go to work early. :devil2:
 
Absolutely love those - seen about half of them! Our version of #9: Twin 4 year old boys can build a huge teepee style woodpile with Lincoln logs in the middle of the couch and take turns tossing lit matches into the middle of it without ever getting the logs to light. The couch, however, goes up quite nicely! Viburnum, MO RVFD, first responder time - 2 minutes, first truck arrival - 6 minutes.
 
Just wait till the teenage years had one that blew up a 1999 Chevy 4X4 not the engine the whole dang truck. I will just leave it at that, just think what you have to look forward to.
 
Our oldest son is now 31 and the twins are 30. Grandsons are 10 and 7, granddaughter is 2. We just sit back and enjoy the shows now, praying that noone gets hurt! We remind the boys, "That's what I was telling you boy, you're going to pay for your raising. What goes around, comes around!"
 
Excellent post, Certs! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

PS Did you get a chance to try out the brake fluid and Clorox yet? I must admit I'm kind of curious how much smoke it makes. ;-)
 

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