Kids R Mean

[I luv herfrds]

HD she just got an early birthday gift today. A new riding helmet. Going to try it out this weekend with Grandma Linda.

I figured out along time ago that if some parents wanted to spend hundreds of dollars on their kids parties that is their business.
Most of the parties we held were after school in the park at the playground. Decorate your own cupcakes, lots of drinks and party favors from the dollar store. Kids had a blast.
Definately don't need to do the bowling party. Swimming party. Roller skating party, or any of the rest of them.

You know I really needed to talk to someone about this because it was bothering me.
I came here because most of the time I get good advice and get shown a different point of view, so far the only ones offering suggestions were 3way, Dave, GMN, HD and Howdy.
cow pollinator not sure it would work and it's not nice either.
A portion of the rest just had to say that it is terrible that parents spend so much on a kids birthday.
That was NOT what I was talking about. I was talking about them rubbing it in my daughters face that she is not invited and are flat out mean to her.
She knows. This kid is not dumb.
I talked to her already about these kids maybe they will change and maybe they won't.
She was part of the little clique awhile back until she told me that the other girls were being mean to this one girl who has always been her friend. I told her it was not right and to continue to be friends with this girl. Now she is on the outside.

 

[showing71]

I was in the position your daughter is in during elementary and junior high, until we moved when I was a freshman. I was an outsider because I had and showed livestock (and got to miss school for it which pi$$ed a lot of kids off) and I was the smart kid - we had lived in a community that used to be rural, but was rapidly getting more urban.

As far as birthdays, I tried the invite the girls thing, and it never panned out. Someone would decide that it was uncool, and pretty soon half the girls I would invite would back out. So, my parents told me that for my 10th birthday, I could invite my entire class on a hayrack ride. This was my last attempt to be nice and invite everyone. Dad came with the tractor and hayrack after school, we drove around town, stopped at the park for cupcakes, and then dropped everyone off at the school. Every kid showed up, but of course the "mean girls" had to bash it the next week in school. After that, I only invited my closest friends to a small daytime get together, said screw it to the rest of them. Even if I got invited to their parties, I turned the party down, but I would mail them a card (tried to take a bit of the high road).

I hate to say it, but at least for me, I always was on the outside as long as I was at this school. Once we moved - which was to a farming community - I was friends with every single girl in my class during high school, and still keep in touch with a lot of them.

Hopefully the girls in your daughter's class will grow out if it.

 

[chippie]

...That was NOT what I was talking about. I was talking about them rubbing it in my daughters face that she is not invited and are flat out mean to her.
She knows. This kid is not dumb.
I talked to her already about these kids maybe they will change and maybe they won't.
She was part of the little clique awhile back until she told me that the other girls were being mean to this one girl who has always been her friend. I told her it was not right and to continue to be friends with this girl. Now she is on the outside.

You shouldn't get upset that your thread was hijacked by people talking about how parties have become an "outdoing the Jone's" type thing. Threads go off base here all of the time. No one said that you were that way.

You also did not want to hear that the girl's behavior is normal and that it happens everywhere. It is good that you turned it into a life lesson. I believe that things happen for a reason. Did you ever think that this is making your daughter a stronger and wiser person. One who will be able to see people for what they are? It is all part of growing up and raising a child.

As a mother I have felt the hurt and pain that my children have experienced from "so called" friends. The truth is that there is nothing that I can do to control how another child acts or behaves. My job as a Mom is to be there and support my children.

Your daughter is still young and there will be more trials and tribulations as she matures for both of you. You may find that the girls talking about her will be small potatoes compared to High School.

To get really off track. A friend of our daughter's committed suicide two weeks ago. The 15 year old girl came to school in the morning. Hugged all of her friends, went home and hung herself from the swing set. Somehow the students found out during class. The school was a mess. Counselors were called in from other schools to talk to the students. The grief was unsurmountable.
The girl was successful in school, very well liked, an all around sweet person. Our daughter told me that it made her realize that although someone may seem OK & smiling on the outside does not mean that they are OK. It still makes me cry.

It is tough to be parent these days. Sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to.

 

[I luv herfrds]

chippie I know about it being normal behavior. I just didn't want my daughter to make the mistake I did years ago. That is for a different thread.
Guess what, she is stuck with these same kids up into High School.
Only school in town.

I had 2 friends commit suicide within a year of each other.
Tell your daughter to not play the woulda, coulda, shoulda seen it blame game. It does nothing, but tear you apart.

 

[bigbull338]

reading this post has got my blood to boiling,theres no reason for your daughter tobe treated that way ever.i used to think growups was meaner than snott,but im wrong the kids are the 1s that can be mean an thats wrong.i just hope it doesnt affect your daughter.an i hope she has a great birthday.

 

[dun]

Gee, I always thought it was what is called life!

 

[GMN]

By the pdfangus just letting you know, my daughter almost died before they did an emergency c-section and spent a week in NICU.

i'm a little defensive over people telling me I shouldn't make a big deal over her birthday and having a party.

You should have a party, have it with family first, and when a get together can be arranged with maybe one of her best friends, do it as a separate thing-or just let your daughter decides what she wants.
Any kid who rubs it in your daughter nose, isn't her friend to begin with, hard for her to understand maybe, but believe me she will be better off.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Got our friends and their 2 boys coming over Monday night to have the party.
She's pretty happy about it.

 

[plumber_greg]

ILH, I sure your daughter will be ok in the long run. For a prespectivwe from the other side, I went to an elementary school with about 6 in each class. For a year or two we had "Hate Shelia day". Now I don't think Shelia ever did anything to any of us, we just decided to tell her all day long that we hated her and she was nasty.
I remember to this day her crying, and whenever I hear something like your daughter is going through, I think of Shelia. Her and her husband are customers of mine, and everytime I see her I think of the "Hate Shelia day". Whether or not she remembers I do not know, probably does. I know it still bothers me.
Sometimes kids just pick someone out to make them feel bigger, and get others to join in. In the end it will all work out and I feel for your hurt. I never had much problems with my 3 kids, thank god they never had and hate my kids days. gs

 

[spinandslide]

Buy your daughter the new Taylor Swift CD..and tell her to listen to the song "Mean" real well..

I hate Swift..but this song is a good one..and it fits what she is going thru.

Kids..espc girls..are viscious to each other..and it only gets worse as they get into high school.

Id invite her closest friend to a fun "day" and sleepover..piss on those other little witches..LOL

 

[Howdyjabo]

Shiela remembers- wouldn't hurt either of you to look her up and apologise

 

[Brute 23]

Tell her to read alot and work hard. She can get back at them one day when they are aking for a job. :lol2:

 

[CKC1586]

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.

A lot of kids are mean. So are a lot of adults. Those mean adults were probably rotten as kids. Hope your little gal has a wonderful birthday. Sounds like she has some pretty good parents.

 

[chrisy]

girls can be mean and also very loving, it must be hard for your daughter to have this rubbed in her face, but tell her she is the better person for staying up on her high level and not sinking down to theirs, and being mean back.
I know what you mean about hurting for her as you had a hard time having her and birthdays are precious, I nearly lost my Daughter the same way she had to be born by c-section and was in SBCU (Special baby care unit) for a few months. My first Son I did loose. Hope she has a great day. (and all the best people are born in May)

 

[I luv herfrds]

Well here is something new.
I'm pretty proud of my daughter. :heart: :heart:

We were talking today about what flavored cake she wants for her birthday and she said she would like to take cupcakes to her class on Monday. :shock:
Floored me.
I asked her how many kids, don't forget the teachers and bus driver. ;-)
what flavor? How about both chocolate and vanilla?
how about 1 flavor?
Chocolate.
So I guess tomorrow we will be baking some cupcakes.

Even though some of the kids treat her badly she is still a pretty giving girl.

 

[rockridgecattle]

Got yourself a good girl there!

Be a proud momma

 

[Dave]

Kill them with kindness and expect nothing in return. It will take time but they will come around. And she will certainly earn the respect of others who see this.

 

[I luv herfrds]

She took in 20 cupcakes today.
Had to have 1 for her Art teacher, 1 for her reading teacher, 1 for her PE teacher and everyone.
She was pretty happy this morning.

She gets to open her presents tonight.
Got a birthday barbie, a jewlery box, a necklace earring set, side walk chalk and a bubble wand.

 

[hillsdown]

Sounds like a great birthday ILH !

You daughter has a heart of gold, you should be very proud of her and of you and hubby for raising such a giving child. Gives us hope that the next generation is truly not hopeless .. :tiphat:

 

[spinandslide]

be proud of your daughter ILH! Sounds like she is truly taking the "high road" in this situation..