Jeff Foxworthy on Albertans

[Victoria]

> > Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about
> >Albertans:
> >
> >
> >If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
> >in Alberta .
> >
> >If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> >work there, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Alberta.
> >
> >If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
> >wrong number, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Edmonton for the weekend,
> >you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you measure distance in hours, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live
> >in Alberta .
> >
> >If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again in
> >the same day, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
> >without flinching, you live in Alberta
> >
> >If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both<
> >BR>unlocked, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
> >you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
> >live in Alberta .
> >
> >If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> >snow, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
> >construction, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in
> >Alberta .
> >
> >If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in
> >Alberta.
> >
> >If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
> >Alberta friends, you live in Alberta

 

[Frankie]

I don't think I'm tough enough to live in Alberta. :lol:

 

[IluvABbeef]

> > Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about
> >Albertans:
> >
> >
> >If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live
> >in Alberta .
> >
> >If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> >work there, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Alberta.
> >
> >If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
> >wrong number, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Edmonton for the weekend,
> >you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you measure distance in hours, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live
> >in Alberta .
> >
> >If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again in
> >the same day, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
> >without flinching, you live in Alberta
> >
> >If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both<
> >BR>unlocked, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
> >you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
> >live in Alberta .
> >
> >If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> >snow, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
> >construction, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in
> >Alberta .
> >
> >If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in
> >Alberta.
> >
> >If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
> >Alberta friends, you live in Alberta

Yep, that says it all! :lol:

 

[Vicky the vet]

Well, those could also work for Ontario...

The one that he missed, "But it's a dry cold...."

 

[chrisy]

:lol: :lol: to much snow there for me

 

[john250]

Most of those apply to Indiana as well. It is rare for us to get 2 ft of snow, but when we do we still drive like idiots. :lol:

 

[Victoria]

The one I actually found funniest was the one about the snowsuit and Halloween costumes. When I was little I always wanted to be a princess or something pretty and I would put on my pretty little dress. I figured people would open the door and go "My what a pretty little princess, have all my candy!" Instead it went like this:
"Trick or Treat!"
"Oh my, what do we have here?"
This was not a rhetorical question, indeed the poor woman had no idea what I was.
"I'm a Princess!"
"Of course you are dear, here have one caramel."
"No, wait really I am a Princess. Just let me take off my toque, gloves, scarf, and snowsuit and you will see I am a Princess!"

Yup, sadly enough I never got to be Snow White in her short sleeves singing with birds fluttering around. Instead I was the REAL Snow White, covered in the white flakey stuff. :lol:

I have also worn shorts with a parka and no one has laughed. ;-)

 

[msscamp]

I don't know, Victoria, a number of those fit for Wyoming! :lol: :lol:

 

[cattleluvr18]

> > Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about
> >Albertans:
> >If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Alberta.
> >
> >If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again in
> >the same day, you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
> >without flinching, you live in Alberta
> >
> >If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
> >you live in Alberta .
> >
> >If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
> >snow, you live in Alberta .
> >
>If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
> >Alberta friends, you live in Alberta

nope you live in nebraska :lol2:

 

[hillsdown]

Well, those could also work for Ontario...

The one that he missed, "But it's a dry cold...."

Yep even minus 35 with the sun shining you can cope.Minus 5 in Toronto that is just cold..........

 

[msscamp]

Well, those could also work for Ontario...

The one that he missed, "But it's a dry cold...."

Yep even minus 35 with the sun shining you can cope.Minus 5 in Toronto that is just cold..........

-5 is not that big of a deal - it's when it gets to -25, 35, or 60 that I really have a problem leaving the house because no amount of clothing is going to keep you warm! :shock:

 

[Susie David]

Odd to think that we took a drive up to Edmonton awhile back just to see the shopping mall...and a few other places.
DMc

 

[rockridgecattle]

Born and raised Albertan. Had a good laugh. How true. Now i live in Manitoba...man wnters are long and cold here. Summers real hot. Not a word of a lie but here it can changed 30 degress in less than 24 hours.
In the winter -40 here in the summer +30..33 Clesius