Italian Arithmetic

[Tommy Ruyle]

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." and he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you gota no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"



(You're going to love this one!!!)



The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doga come along and poopooed by eacha tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?

 

[3waycross]

You're a funny guy Tommy!

What's next Holocaust Jokes?

 

[MistyMorning]

You're a funny guy Tommy!

What's next Holocaust Jokes?

You're a funny guy 3way! LMAO! :lol2:

 

[double v]

Good one Tommy, next you'll be putting cement shoe jokes out there I wouldn't drive to colorado or missouri anytime soon you might just being looking up in space saying i should just let them italian guys aloan. Oh yeah what did the 5 fingers say to the face slap ***ch.

 

[*Cowgirl*]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[funky 4-Her]

haha. thats great. :lol2: :lol2:

 

[pdfangus]

Tommy,

I first heard that one as a Cajun joke.

I guess that was the more politically correct version. cajuns don't give a crap bout what other folk say. don't get all defensive and hostile.

good joke anyway.

 

[angie1]

cajuns don't give a crap bout what other folk say. don't get all defensive and hostile.

A southerner that doesn't get defensive and hostile when you make fun of them?! :shock:

Who'd a thunk it?

 

[pdfangus]

cajuns don't give a crap bout what other folk say. don't get all defensive and hostile.

A southerner that doesn't get defensive and hostile when you make fun of them?! :shock:

Who'd a thunk it?

Naw.....

we laugh and carry on big time....

Teasing one another bout who made the best or worst shot....

We deal with our issues and varmits and move on.

 

[angie1]

Naw.....
we laugh and carry on big time....
Teasing one another bout who made the best or worst shot....
We deal with our issues and varmits and move on.

Yes, you do all of these things, and that is good ~ as it should be.

The key phrase there is "tease each other". Plenty of times I've seen the dogs called out when someone steps on your collective toes. Right or wrong ~ you can't expect people to eat what your serving if you're not willing to taste it yourself. Thats all I'm trying to say.

 

[pdfangus]

Did you come to me to pick a fight this mawning.?

Or do you just like to pick in general?

 

[angie1]

No, I just came off a 12 hour shift ~ I don't have the energy to fight with anonymous people on line. I used all that up getting kids on the bus.

Besides, theres nothing confrontational or offensive in what I said. It just is as it is.

 

[pdfangus]

No, I just came off a 12 hour shift ~ I don't have the energy to fight with anonymous people on line. I used all that up getting kids on the bus.

Besides, theres nothing confrontational or offensive in what I said. It just is as it is.

"A southerner that doesn't get defensive and hostile when you make fun of them?!

Who'd a thunk it?"

I beg to differ !! I think it is both confrontational and offensive....
Just as much as someone else was offended by the original joke being Italian.

 

[3waycross]

Tommy,

I first heard that one as a Cajun joke.

I guess that was the more politically correct version. cajuns don't give a crap bout what other folk say. don't get all defensive and hostile.

good joke anyway.

Say what? Want to guess how many sets of bones are rotting in the ooze of some swamp because they insulted a cajun about something, and probably rightfull so. I have some Cajun friends and the thing I always like most about them was they don't take a lot of guff about anything, except among themselves.

There's no politically correct here, it was and is a tasteless joke, have the decency to admit it and move on. My Grandfather talked like that and he was the best man I ever knew, and by the way the fact he talked funny did not make him stupid, now if we talked like that 2 generations later that might be stupid, but we don't. That old man got off the boat with barely a pair of shoes to his name and by the time he died he owned 14,000 acres and about 300 cow sand he did it without having to lie , cheat, or steal, so that's my role model. I don't expect you PDF or anybody else to be impressed but I also don't tolerate the abuse either. So let it go, and get off Angie while your at it , she was just trying to be the voice of reason.

What I would like to see is some civility and some of those fine Southern manners I've heard so much about. In case you didn't notice it, it was insulting to me and my friend Double V, and no we're not being thin skinned. We're just tired of the EYE-talian jokes and all the sterotype horse manure that goes with it.
Doesn't cost much to be polite and it sure does prevent a peck of trouble.

 

[pdfangus]

Well I didn't post the joke and I didn't start on Angie.

I suggest yall go commiserate with each other.

Especially since you, more than I, demonstrate her point about tempermental "western" folk.

talk about hostile.

 

[angie1]

Ugh! :stop: :compute: !
I leave to take a nap and come back to this. :shock:
I apologize for my part in it. If I have offended, it was not my intent.
Was simply making "a joke". :lol2: :roll: :help:

pdangus, as much as I appreciate 3wc's words, he is not jumping in on my behalf, he is defending himself from what he preceives to be offense, just as you have done. It seems that everyone has ruffled feathers today.

If anyone wants to do me any favors, they will drop it. But you are both your own men and will do what you want. I am out of it.

Again ~ sorry ya'll ;-)

 

[Tommy Ruyle]

3waycross said,

There's no politically correct here, it was and is a tasteless joke, have the decency to admit it and move on. My Grandfather talked like that and he was the best man I ever knew, and by the way the fact he talked funny did not make him stupid, now if we talked like that 2 generations later that might be stupid, but we don't. That old man got off the boat with barely a pair of shoes to his name and by the time he died he owned 14,000 acres and about 300 cow sand he did it without having to lie , cheat, or steal, so that's my role model. I don't expect you PDF or anybody else to be impressed but I also don't tolerate the abuse either. So let it go, and get off Angie while your at it , she was just trying to be the voice of reason.

What I would like to see is some civility and some of those fine Southern manners I've heard so much about. In case you didn't notice it, it was insulting to me and my friend Double V, and no we're not being thin skinned. We're just tired of the EYE-talian jokes and all the sterotype horse manure that goes with it.
Doesn't cost much to be polite and it sure does prevent a peck of trouble.

That has got to be the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard of! There was nothing about that joke that was insulting. I am so sick and tired of all of this "P. C." crap and you liberal jerks that are always wanting to get your feelings hurt so you can complain! Get over it - it was a joke!!!!!!!

 

[3waycross]

3waycross said,

There's no politically correct here, it was and is a tasteless joke, have the decency to admit it and move on.
You talk a lot but appearently you can't read or choose not to. Don't even presume to call me a liberal, I was a card carrying conservative before you were weaned, and still am.

What I would like to see is some civility and some of those fine Southern manners I've heard so much about. In case you didn't notice it, it was insulting to me and my friend Double V, and no we're not being thin skinned. We're just tired of the EYE-talian jokes and all the sterotype horse manure that goes with it.
Doesn't cost much to be polite and it sure does prevent a peck of trouble.

Again try reading moron, I told you very nicely I and a lot of others are sick and tired of this kind of humor. Obviously you need to resort to trying to make someone else less ,in order for you to fell like you are more. If that is the case I feel sorry for you, there are other ways to lift yourself up than to make fun of others, or put them down. I read your post and started to get real mad until I thought about what a sorry little person you must be to need to spend all the time you do typing tasteless, not to mention stupid jokes on the internet hoping to impress someone with you amazing wit. I even went back and read some of them, heck man they're all offensive just on the idiot factor alone.

So run your mouth all you want, try to be the big man you wish you were, and tell all the stupid , tasteless jokes you want I am done with you.

That has got to be the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard of! There was nothing about that joke that was insulting. I am so sick and tired of all of this "P. C." crap and you liberal jerks that are always wanting to get your feelings hurt so you can complain! Get over it - it was a joke!!!!!!!

 

[double v]

Just remember that some people are proud of who they are and have worked hard to get there. Its easy to mock(joke) people who are probaly a cut above your sorry a**. How's that for a joke.

 

[MikeC]

Somehow I woulda thought that the joke was a compliment to Italians.

Showed how quick thinking they are...

Boy was I wrong. :roll: