Hell is sorta like this...

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john250":1zd37q8o said:
...just not as painful. As dealing with my ex-wife over our daughter's wedding.
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John for whatever it's worth I just stayed out of it. Told the daughter I'd do whatever she said, pay for half the cost of the event, send me a tux and I'd be there. Got it all done, had a couple of good stout drinks at the reception, ate the dinner, danced with my daughter and wife several times, wished the newly weds the best of everything and left. Daughter undersood completely. didn't matter what the "X" thought or said.
 
TexasBred":3pjcrt0c said:
john250":3pjcrt0c said:
...just not as painful. As dealing with my ex-wife over our daughter's wedding.
Click to expand...
John for whatever it's worth I just stayed out of it. Told the daughter I'd do whatever she said, pay for half the cost of the event, send me a tux and I'd be there. Got it all done, had a couple of good stout drinks at the reception, ate the dinner, danced with my daughter and wife several times, wished the newly weds the best of everything and left. Daughter undersood completely. didn't matter what the "X" thought or said.
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Very good advise.

On the first daughter to get married I got scammed by her and the X into paying more than my share. I didn't care about the money but I hate being scammed by the X. So along comes second daughter to get married. She was being bridezilla and kept saying mom is doing this, mom is doing that.... I would reply I don't care what your mom is doing. This went on to the point where I finally said, "I wouldn't p!ss on your mom if she were on fire". I strongly advise against this route.
 
Dave":2luh4kdo said:
I would reply I don't care what your mom is doing. This went on to the point where I finally said, "I wouldn't p!ss on your mom if she were on fire". I strongly advise against this route.
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My daughter already knows that I feel the same way and it turns out we have a better relationship than they do.
 
I have a good relationship with the daughter (she went to my schools, is marrying a boy one county over who is a hog farmer) etc, all things which please me greatly. I had a workmanlike relationship with the ex but when I learn she is planning a separate caterer for her family so they can have shrimp and vegetarian dishes, well the culture wars are on again. It is on her check, so I'll owe no money, but I still think it is an offense to etiquette.
Guests eat what they are served, and the caterer is widely recognized as "good +", that is my point. Yes, her family is used to a little more seafood and contains a cousin who is occasionally vegetarian, even vegan. It isn't any big deal, or it shouldn't be.
I'll be fine. Thanks, responders.
 
As a caterer in a former life I find it not unusual to have to prepare "special" foods for "special" guests. Only thing was I made them pay "special" prices for it to be done. :nod:
 
Here is my 2 cents John. No matter what happens make sure you take the time during all the hustle and bustle and organized chaos to "smell the flowers" and enjoy being with your daughter on this very special day . It will mean the world to you, and to her, for many years to come . :heart: My wedding was made more special by having my mom and dad by my side, granted they are still together and celebrate 53 years this year ,but I am grateful that they are still in my life .

I am sure all of your friends and family know about your ex and her "special needs" so don't even give it a second thought . Some people just love to be difficult :tiphat:
 
I dread the day I will have to be in your shoes now, but I know it will come. My daughters mother and me agree on very little, but the one thing we are eye to eye on is our little girls happiness, I have bitten my tongue nearly clean off. I'd say take one for the team and enjoy a shrimp or two! Good luck though, I know how tough it can be.
 
hillsdown":elajy087 said:
Here is my 2 cents John. No matter what happens make sure you take the time during all the hustle and bustle and organized chaos to "smell the flowers" and enjoy being with your daughter on this very special day . It will mean the world to you, and to her, for many years to come . :heart: My wedding was made more special by having my mom and dad by my side, granted they are still together and celebrate 53 years this year ,but I am grateful that they are still in my life .

I am sure all of your friends and family know about your ex and her "special needs" so don't even give it a second thought . Some people just love to be difficult :tiphat:
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What HD said, I agree with. Have been in one of these several-parent wedding plan deals before. Don't bite the $$ bullet more than you can, and be there as a full-fledged loving parent. :)
 
hillsdown":ce32g2ca said:
Here is my 2 cents John. No matter what happens make sure you take the time during all the hustle and bustle and organized chaos to "smell the flowers" and enjoy being with your daughter on this very special day . It will mean the world to you, and to her, for many years to come . :heart: My wedding was made more special by having my mom and dad by my side,
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Thoughtful post HD.

I was wondering the other day-in today's world, just what is a wedding? What is a marriage?
How many people think about these things?
 
Could be worse. You could be saying to your kid as they walk back up the aisle after the vows
"good luck, you'll need it"
20 years later luck plays no role.
Just be glad you have a decent relationship with your kid and don't worry about the ex because the only thing you have in common now is the bride. And it's not about you and the ex on that day.
 
Kill her with kindness... Just be as gracious and wonderful towards her as you know how to be. Smile at her, kiss her cheek and tell her that you're so happy that you can both be at this event together and how wonderful it is to see her...Make a game out of outdoing yourself. They HATE it when you do that.
I do it to my wife when she's mad at me and won't tell me and is waiting for me to ask her if she's mad and also to a neighbor lady that absolutely hates my sorry guts. I'm gracious to all of my neighbors but I love going out of my way to be kind to this one because I know that it just eats her alive to have no choice but to be at least cordial back to me. :lol:
 

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