TexasBred
Well-known member
HE?? EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is He?? exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of He?? is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into He?? and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to He??, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering He??, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to He??. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to He??. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in He?? to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in He?? because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in He?? to stay the same, the volume of He?? has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If He?? is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter He??, then the temperature and pressure in He?? will increase until all He?? breaks loose.
2. If He?? is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in He??, then the temperature and pressure will drop until He?? freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in He?? before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that He?? is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since He?? has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is He?? exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of He?? is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into He?? and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to He??, it will not leave. There fore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering He??, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to He??. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to He??. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in He?? to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in He?? because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in He?? to stay the same, the volume of He?? has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If He?? is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter He??, then the temperature and pressure in He?? will increase until all He?? breaks loose.
2. If He?? is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in He??, then the temperature and pressure will drop until He?? freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in He?? before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that He?? is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since He?? has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
