Female Humor.... Wife thinks it's funny.

[Crowderfarms]

.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
-----------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.


Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!

-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
-----------------------------------------------------------

 

[Gate Opener]

I agree with your wife. Those are funny.

 

[msscamp]

Those are great!! :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

 

[mnmtranching]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

 

[chrisy]

some oldies and goodies thanks for the laugh... :lol: :lol:

 

[Gale Seddon]

Crowder, your wife is absolutely correct. But I will give you credit for posting it nonetheless.

 

[*Cowgirl*]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[msscamp]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[chrisy]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

 

[mnmtranching]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Ummm :? me-- :arrow: :arrow: :help:

 

[Crowderfarms]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

I aint touchin' this one. :shock:

 

[VanC]

Geez, Crowder, you gettin' in touch with your feminine side today or what? Or maybe you had to post this stuff as some sort of plea agreement with your wife? Must've been really bad. Traitor.

 

[warpaint]

I done told ya, Crowder. We never shoulda let the wives get their heads together. :roll:

 

[msscamp]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Good point. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

 

[msscamp]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Ummm :? me-- :arrow: :arrow: :help:

I don't know - sounds a little biased to me! ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

 

[Susie David]

Brother Crowder....you do realize that if this keeps up your membership in the brotherhood may be in jeopardy.
DMC

 

[mnmtranching]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Ummm :? me-- :arrow: :arrow: :help:

I don't know - sounds a little biased to me! ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

I feel like I dug me a hole, may need help getting out. :help: :help:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Brother Crowder....you do realize that if this keeps up your membership in the brotherhood may be in jeopardy.
DMC

I need a firmer platform for my Female voters. Votes count... ;-)

 

[msscamp]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Ummm :? me-- :arrow: :arrow: :help:

I don't know - sounds a little biased to me! ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

I feel like I dug me a hole, may need help getting out. :help: :help:

:lol2: :lol2: Nah, you're alright!

 

[chrisy]

JEEZ :shock: Women are not normal people. :roll: ;-) :help: :cboy:

Define "normal". :lol: :lol: :lol:

msscamp, you have asked a to complicated question of a male. ;-) :roll: :lol: you've probablly sent him into a spin just thinking.

Ummm :? me-- :arrow: :arrow: :help:

I don't know - sounds a little biased to me! ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

I feel like I dug me a hole, may need help getting out. :help: :help:

:lol2: :lol2: Nah, you're alright!

just don't dig any deeper, and we'll drop a rope :roll: :lol: :lol: