Dumbest Question ever asked

[Bullbuyer]

Am I the only person that gets the really dumb questions from people? I know everyone gets the "You want fries with that?" question after ordering fries and a drink.
One of my all time favorite questions was from the clerk at TSC (I know, I know - I was in a pinch). I go up to the counter with a bag of ear tags, some needles and a bottle of cattle wormer - and the clerk's question "You got cows?" I was too stunned to answer.
I figure everybody has one to share!

 

[Lammie]

Here's mine for today.

You are selling your mineral rights with the house, right?

 

[Angus In Texas]

I love when mom calls my house and asks if I made it home from somewhere...... duh I just answered the phone didn't I. :?

 

[Ryan]

As most of you know, I raise longhorns and show 'em all over the place. I do believe stock shows and fairs are the gathering place for people who have stupid questions and they just need to ask them.

here's the all-time best.... at the state fair of texas guy told my grandmother "Yeah, them longhorns can only have 2, sometimes 3, calves" my grandmother (who'd raised longhorns for about 12 -15 years at that time) says "oh yeah, why's that?" guy says "well the horns on them babies, well they just tear up the insides on them momma cows"..... all this while standing next to a cow/calf pair (a calf that might have had little 1/2 inch nubs, at best)

 

[mitch2]

This weekend, I rec'vd a call from someone inquiring on our house for sale...

"Does the garage come with it?"

Uff da

Michele

 

[Running Arrow Bill]

Number of years ago I was driving between KS and TX on I-35. I stopped at a Convenience store and got a Pepsi and some Certs (for dry mouth). The clerk (no...wasn't a foreigner) asked me if I wanted Chips with that. I said, "No...just had lunch...thirsty and bad breath..." No response from the dumbie...

 

[VanC]

Years ago I had a telemarketer call and ask me if I had a phone in my home. What she really meant was how many phones and do I rent them or own them. We had a good laugh about it right before I hung up on her.

 

[Ryder]

Phone: Ring, ring.

Me: Hello.

Them: Were you asleep?

Me:

 

[Jogeephus]

Was reading a deed description to a guy and he asked me, "exactly how many acres does the plus or minus stand for?"

 

[Victoria]

I was at our local feedstore that had done some new hiring and got a new "V" tatoo letter. Went to the front to pay for it and order some mineral. He rings through the mineral then looks at the tattoo letter.
Him: I think this fell out of your purse.
Me: No, I am buying that from you.
Him: Ummm, OK. (stares blankly)
Fellow female customer (obviously a dog owner in town): What is it?
Him: Looks relieved because he didn't have to be the idiot that asked.
Me: A tattoo letter.
Her: A WHAT?
Me: A tattoo letter for giving ear tattoos.
Him: Oh for dogs.
Her: Why do you do your own?
Me: (Wondering how big these people's dogs are) No it's for cattle.
Him: Oh yeah.
Her: Why do they need tattoos?
Me: Explaination which I thankfully do not need to repeat here.
Her: Doesn't that hurt them.
Me: They don't much care for it.
Her and Him: Shocked expressions.
Me: People go out and do it for kicks, calves have more brains than that.
Him: I don't know how to ring it in.
Me: Wishing I was not an honest person and had the ability to have said: Thanks, that did fall out of my purse. Instead I handed him over the exact amount includng tax grabbed my letter and told him he was smart enough to figure it out.

Of course that still doesn't beat the girl at Subway telling my mother that 2 $7.00 subs came to over $30.00 because the computer said so. That took a call to the manager to straighten out.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Only one my husband could think of involved his 1924 Model T Roadster pickup.
Do you crank that to start it?
It has an electric starter on it.
The one I remember is the kids fighting and the telemarketer asking if I was busy.

 

[Keren]

Numerous dumb questions from townies while I am at a show.

1.)
Him: Excuse me could you please tell me where I can find the cattle?
Me (sitting next to a Hereford bull): These are the cattle
Him: Oh, okay. So where are the cows?

(it gets better)

Me: These are the cows.
Him: (long silence) So where are the cattle?

2.)
Woman: Why do some of the cows have different looking udders? (testicles . . . )

3.)
Bloke: How do you get the wool off cattle?

4.)
Woman: Excuse me, could my daughter please pat your dog? (it was a boer goat)

5.)
Kid: look mum, a donkey! (calf)

6.)
Woman: When you milk the cow, is it hard to get it into the carton? I mean, its such a small opening . . .

 

[Just Curious]

A woman from a State other than Montana and I were having a chat.... She asked if we really live there all year around... Being the SA that I am, I said no... No one lives in Montana in winter... We all just board up our homes and businesses and move south...
She was content with that answer...

 

[Jogeephus]

Was at the feed store one day when a know-it-all came in to the store. He was bragging about how his cows were the best in the county and how he talked a car dealer into giving him a life tiime warranty on his truck including free oil changes and wash/wax for life. Continued bragging about how he had been raising cows for 40 years even though he had just fenced his place off the year before. Anyway, he picked up some LA200 and asked, "Do you give this in the butt like the all other vaccines?" :shock: Seeing the once in a lifetime chance to help a great humble rancher I chirped in, "No sir, you give that in the Lower Abdomen, that's what the LA stands for". He explained, he "didn't know much about these new drugs", and hopped in his brand new 4-wheel drive diesel truck and headed for his "ranch" to check on his ten head.

 

[Victoria]

Numerous dumb questions from townies while I am at a show.

1.)
Him: Excuse me could you please tell me where I can find the cattle?
Me (sitting next to a Hereford bull): These are the cattle
Him: Oh, okay. So where are the cows?

(it gets better)

Me: These are the cows.
Him: (long silence) So where are the cattle?

2.)
Woman: Why do some of the cows have different looking udders? (testicles . . . )

3.)
Bloke: How do you get the wool off cattle?

4.)
Woman: Excuse me, could my daughter please pat your dog? (it was a boer goat)

5.)
Kid: look mum, a donkey! (calf)

6.)
Woman: When you milk the cow, is it hard to get it into the carton? I mean, its such a small opening . . .

:lol: :lol: One of the best times of my life was going to one of the Calgary Stampede cow (or maybe they were cattle )shows and listening to the conversations. One guy was impressing his wife with his knowledge that all the animals in the ring were cow because they didn't have horns. A knowledgable person pointed out that they were bulls and mentioned their testicles. The guy was in shock- those are testicles, they are huge! His wife agreed and said that is why bulls get to have lots of cows and he only gets to have one woman. :lol:

 

[TxCoUnTrYbOy]

I have a couple.

This happened at several shows, where kids walk by my brahmans and say "Look at the camels mommy".

In San Antonio I had a grown man come up and ask "What are those pink things in between its legs" as he looked at my bull. I literally fell out of my chair laughing, and he said he thought it was a cow because there were no horns.

At Houston, a woman with her little kids came up and asked to pet the cattle. We let them but went with them to make sure they didnt get kicked. As soon as the kids stepped on the shavings my dad couldnt help but say "Watch out, the big one eats kids". All I saw was a cloud of dust from shavings, the kids were gone. Their mom thought it was pretty funny too.

 

[Double A]

We sell custom fed beef by the sides to people in the St. Louis area. OK, so you can already imagine all the unusual questions we get asked and the funny responses of what do I do with the heart, liver, tongue, and tail? I was helping a person fill out their cutting order and when we were done they asked "What about the bacon and ham?" Another customer for their second side said that they really liked their beef, but would like to get more T-Bones next time. This is where I have to explain the loaf of bread and I would grow a beef with more rib eyes and T-Bones if I could. (and would be quite rich if I could)

A friend of ours raises sheep and he brought a live young ram down to St. Louis. A man wanted to buy it live, butcher it and cook it whole in his roasting pit in his back yard - he was having a big celebration with family and friends. Several neighbors came down to see the lamb. One lady asked what we were going to do with it. My husband told her a guy was coming to butcher it and eat it. After a long dazed pause of about 10 sec, she asked what we were really going to do with it. My husband repeated his answer. She gave a shocked look, her husband chuckled as she turned and went home. I guess she thought we were going to take it up to our farm so it could live "happily ever after" - I guess that was being too close to her food source (no, she is not a vegetarian).

One last one. We were showing my mom (knows nothing about livestock and lived in the city her whole life) our cows and telling her a little bit about them. In the conversation, my husband straight-faced adds that we try and not keep too many cows that have frostbiten ears or tails unless they are really good because their calves won't have any ears or tails either...she replied "really, I didn't know that" :lol: We "got" her, and then chuckled and told her we were just being silly.

 

[GMN]

Woman: When you milk the cow, is it hard to get it into the carton? I mean, its such a small opening .qoute:

Thats a good one!

I had a checker at Walmart ask me once when she saw the cows on my checks, if I had to milk the cows everyday, and I said yes, twice aday, and then she said not everyday, surely you just milk them a couple times a week, and I said Nope, everyday/7 days a week, 365 days a year, and even then she didn't believe me.

GMN

 

[cfpinz]

Not the dumbest, but the most recent: Was sitting in a diner in Philadelphia Sunday for lunch when the owner (covered in tattooes and sporting scores of body piercings of which she kindly showed me more than I ever wanted to see) looked me up and down and said: "You're not from around here, are you?" As we were leaving she asked the local gent that I was with if she could keep me! :shock: :shock: :shock:

cfpinz

 

[Canadian_Cowgirl]

Not the dumbest, but the most recent: Was sitting in a diner in Philadelphia Sunday for lunch when the owner (covered in tattooes and sporting scores of body piercings of which she kindly showed me more than I ever wanted to see) looked me up and down and said: "You're not from around here, are you?" As we were leaving she asked the local gent that I was with if she could keep me! :shock: :shock: :shock:

cfpinz

WOOO WEEE you must be a looker! ;-)

Did you run? run fast!!???

Katy