dependent on our computers.
- Thread starter Sir Loin
- Start date
Help Support CattleToday:
Two guys are wandering about in Wal-Mart when their two carts collide.
One says to the other: "Sorry, I was looking for my wife."
"Yeah, so am I, and I'm getting kinda pissed."
"Well, let's help each other out. What's your wife look like?"
"Kinda tall, long red hair, long legs, good boobs, tight butt.
"What's yours look like?"
"Never mind, let's look for yours."
*****
Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said: "I have something I must tell you about your baby."
"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?"
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh my Goodness, that's wonderful!" the woman exclaimed. "You mean it has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often!"
*********
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write A Good Doctor ... or 911!
*****
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are you supposed to do, write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?
********
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
*****
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*****
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?
*****
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
*****
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
*****
What do you call male ballerinas?
*****
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
*****
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
*****
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
****
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
*****
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . .. . . ..
*****
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
:lol:
One says to the other: "Sorry, I was looking for my wife."
"Yeah, so am I, and I'm getting kinda pissed."
"Well, let's help each other out. What's your wife look like?"
"Kinda tall, long red hair, long legs, good boobs, tight butt.
"What's yours look like?"
"Never mind, let's look for yours."
*****
Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said: "I have something I must tell you about your baby."
"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?"
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh my Goodness, that's wonderful!" the woman exclaimed. "You mean it has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often!"
*********
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write A Good Doctor ... or 911!
*****
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are you supposed to do, write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?
********
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
*****
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*****
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their butt when they ask where the bathroom is?
*****
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
*****
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
*****
What do you call male ballerinas?
*****
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
*****
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
*****
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
****
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
*****
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . .. . . ..
*****
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
:lol:
karlie45
Well-known member
haha. thats pretty good. You got me!
*Cowgirl*
Well-known member
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
chrisy
Well-known member
