Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Chuckle
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Travlr" data-source="post: 1848525" data-attributes="member: 42463"><p><img src="https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-dd0b8f650f0cbe1365dc3fa7a8350082" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p>The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.</p><p></p><p>The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."</p><p></p><p>"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"</p><p></p><p>The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead."</p><p></p><p>Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."</p><p></p><p>The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."</p><p></p><p>Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.</p><p></p><p>Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."</p><p></p><p>The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.</p><p></p><p>Grandpa removes his dentures and sinks them into his remaining eye. The astonished auditor now grasps that he has gambled and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. His unease begins to mount.</p><p></p><p>"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."</p><p></p><p>The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.</p><p></p><p>The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.</p><p></p><p>"Are you OK?" the auditor asks.</p><p></p><p>"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."</p><p></p><p>Don't mess with old people!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Travlr, post: 1848525, member: 42463"] [IMG]https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-dd0b8f650f0cbe1365dc3fa7a8350082[/IMG] The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. Go ahead." Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and sinks them into his remaining eye. The astonished auditor now grasps that he has gambled and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. His unease begins to mount. "Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you OK?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it." Don't mess with old people! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Chuckle
Top