Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Chuckle
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="greybeard" data-source="post: 1839156" data-attributes="member: 18945"><p>I'm in a Walmart parking lot Watching a woman</p><p></p><p>Who can't remember where she parked her car.</p><p></p><p>Every time she holds her remote key fob in the air I honk my horn.</p><p>................</p><p></p><p>A guy goes to the supermarket and a beautiful woman smiles at him and says hello. He's taken aback because he can't place how he knows her. So he asks, "do you know me?" The woman says, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." His mind travels back to the only time he's ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "no, I'm your son's math teacher."</p><p></p><p>.................</p><p></p><p>For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot (tika) on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D.C. , has recently revealed the true story.</p><p></p><p>When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he's won a convenience store, a gas station, a 7-11, a taxi cab or a motel in America. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical support.</p><p></p><p>..........</p><p>I arrived early to the restaurant and the</p><p></p><p>manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"</p><p></p><p>I said, "No".</p><p></p><p>"Good," he said. "Take these drinks to table nine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greybeard, post: 1839156, member: 18945"] I'm in a Walmart parking lot Watching a woman Who can't remember where she parked her car. Every time she holds her remote key fob in the air I honk my horn. ................ A guy goes to the supermarket and a beautiful woman smiles at him and says hello. He's taken aback because he can't place how he knows her. So he asks, "do you know me?" The woman says, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." His mind travels back to the only time he's ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery? She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "no, I'm your son's math teacher." ................. For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot (tika) on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D.C. , has recently revealed the true story. When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he's won a convenience store, a gas station, a 7-11, a taxi cab or a motel in America. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical support. .......... I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "No". "Good," he said. "Take these drinks to table nine. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Chuckle
Top