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<blockquote data-quote="greybeard" data-source="post: 1823055" data-attributes="member: 18945"><p>THE Italian Cow</p><p></p><p>The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply. So they brought the cow over from Sicily. It was absolutely wonderful. It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.</p><p></p><p>They bought a bull to mate with the cow so that they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the local veterinarian, Dr. Santucchi, who was very wise, to tell him what was happening and to ask his advice.</p><p></p><p>"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."</p><p></p><p>The veterinarian rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Sicily?"</p><p></p><p>The people were dumbfounded since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Sicily.</p><p></p><p>"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know that we got the cow from Sicily?"</p><p></p><p>The Vet replied with a distant look in his eyes: "My wife is from Sicily."</p><p>---------------------------------</p><p></p><p>In America today...</p><p></p><p>Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as</p><p></p><p>'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.</p><p></p><p>And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:</p><p></p><p>1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. ' (& not necessarily female)</p><p></p><p>2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'</p><p></p><p>3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'</p><p></p><p>4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'</p><p></p><p>5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'</p><p></p><p>6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'</p><p></p><p>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:</p><p></p><p>1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'</p><p></p><p>2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'</p><p></p><p>3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'</p><p></p><p>4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'</p><p></p><p>5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'</p><p></p><p>6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greybeard, post: 1823055, member: 18945"] THE Italian Cow The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply. So they brought the cow over from Sicily. It was absolutely wonderful. It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow so that they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the local veterinarian, Dr. Santucchi, who was very wise, to tell him what was happening and to ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side." The veterinarian rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Sicily?" The people were dumbfounded since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Sicily. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know that we got the cow from Sicily?" The Vet replied with a distant look in his eyes: "My wife is from Sicily." --------------------------------- In America today... Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. ' (& not necessarily female) 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.' [/QUOTE]
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