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<blockquote data-quote="greybeard" data-source="post: 1805339" data-attributes="member: 18945"><p>The next time a stranger comes up and talks to me while I'm alone, I will look at them as if in shock and whisper quietly, "<strong>You can see me?!?</strong>"</p><p>(ive actually done that once)</p><p>------------------------------</p><p></p><p>My doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.</p><p>I'm worried chitless.</p><p>-------------------------------</p><p></p><p>Me: "Doctor, I feel unhealthy and depressed."</p><p>Doc: "You should cut down on drinking."</p><p>Me: "I don't drink."</p><p>Doc: "Then you should cut down on smoking."</p><p>Me: "I don't smoke."</p><p>Doc: "Stop taking drugs."</p><p>Me: "I don't do drugs."</p><p>Doc: "Cut down on the womanizing."</p><p>Me: "I'm not a womanizer."</p><p>Doc: "OK then...................I suggest you pour yourself a drink, start smoking, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends."</p><p>----------------------------------</p><p></p><p>Why is Peter Pan always flying?</p><p>Because he Neverlands.</p><p>--------------------------------</p><p></p><p>Cigarettes are like squirrels..............</p><p>They're perfectly safe until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire.</p><p>---------------------------------</p><p></p><p>Me: "You're starting to act like my ex-wife."</p><p>Wife: "You never told me you had an ex-wife."</p><p>Me: "I don't."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greybeard, post: 1805339, member: 18945"] The next time a stranger comes up and talks to me while I'm alone, I will look at them as if in shock and whisper quietly, "[B]You can see me?!?[/B]" (ive actually done that once) ------------------------------ My doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. I'm worried chitless. ------------------------------- Me: "Doctor, I feel unhealthy and depressed." Doc: "You should cut down on drinking." Me: "I don't drink." Doc: "Then you should cut down on smoking." Me: "I don't smoke." Doc: "Stop taking drugs." Me: "I don't do drugs." Doc: "Cut down on the womanizing." Me: "I'm not a womanizer." Doc: "OK then...................I suggest you pour yourself a drink, start smoking, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends." ---------------------------------- Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands. -------------------------------- Cigarettes are like squirrels.............. They're perfectly safe until you put one in your mouth and set it on fire. --------------------------------- Me: "You're starting to act like my ex-wife." Wife: "You never told me you had an ex-wife." Me: "I don't." [/QUOTE]
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