Dad won't let me go!

[n i c c i]

Okay... there's this pig and poultry course being offered at an Agricultural University about half a hour away from our place and currently my dad isn't letting me stay there. The only way i can do the 2 week course is to board on campus but apparently it's too dangerous for a 17 year old girl to stay at a Uni that has a reputation for having a heck of a lot of ferals. The town also has a pub (but what country town wouldn't?). The only stories i've heard of is of guys wrapping themselves in matresses and jumping out of the two storey windows... apparently one guy died doing that but i don't know what to believe.

I really want a future in Agriculture and i'm planning on studying at this uni in just over a years time when i finish high school but i won't be staying on campus. I think it would be a great experience (since i've only really been educated with horses, cattle and sheep)

I think it's really unfair, if i don't board there i can't do it because i haven't got my P's. Would anyone here be concerned if they're daughter wanted to stay at a uni where the town has a reputation of producing 'ferals' and 'drunks'? i serisouly don't think they would allow me to walk the streets, i just think my dad is blowing this up to be something it's not.

Can you please give me some opinions? plus... all this (course and accomodation... food etc) is government funded!!! we don't have to pay a thing.

 

[Larry Sansom]

Dad is right - he loves you and wants only the best for you. THERE WILL BE MORE CLASSES IN THE FUTURE, so just be thankful you have parents that are looking out for you- rather than letting you get into a potential situation you are not ready to deal with yet. Spoken from a dad with a wonderful daughter and son.

 

[Ryder]

What are P's?

Our opinions don't matter. Don't look for outsiders to side with you against your father. This is a family matter. Keep it that way.

 

[mitchwi]

If I were in your position, I would understand my dad loves me and cares for me. So, the option of staying on-campus is not something that can be comprimised on. The class is not the problem it sounds like, so he'd probably let you go if you could find a way to get there and back everyday. I am going to assume "P's" means your driving license, and you don't have one. And your dad probably works and is unable to get you there and pick you up. A 1/2 hours drive is not a terrible distance. Check with some other relatives, see if you can get some turns from a bunch of people, offer to pay their gas. Also, check with some neighbors, people from your church. Maybe there is a woman around you that works in that town and you can carpool with her. Maybe someone at your school would have an idea, check with them.....

Don't get defeated, keep trying, you would be surprised at how people would be willing to help you out. When you are faced with an obstacle, sometimes you need to find a way around it, rather than get stuck sitting in front of it....

 

[Tod Dague]

Your Father will always have more life experience then you and should be respected even if you disagree. He knows more about you and the areas in which you live than we will ever know. You are showing disrespect by seeking the advice of strangers to counter his.

If I were you I would delete your post and apologize to him.

 

[J. T.]

Daddy said no, and that's that. He loves you and knows more than you do. Wait until you're old enough to attend this university and learn all you can. Ferals and drunks have a way of making their lifestyles look very appealing. Your father just wants what is best for his girl. Not the answer you wanted, but you asked for advise.

 

[Beefy]

Speaking as both a feral and a drunk here, your dad is being protective of you and thats a great thing!! so many parents dont give a crap and let their kids run around procreating and smoking crack rock. Be grateful you have such a caring father. One day (soon!) you'll be on your own to make your own decisions. Until then, a very valid point was brought up that there will be more classes next year and the years after. I know you are anxious, ive been there.

 

[Anonymous]

nicci

Lots of us on this board have kids - in fact most of us. We are also mostly rural people as I know you know.

We care about our kids. They are our future. Someday you will be in the same position and I can honestly assure you that you will have to make similar decisions.

Unfortunately for you, I back your Dad on this one. He is doing something that you cannot really see yet. He is making a parental decision that he believes is in your best interest.

For that reason alone, you should go to him, apologize for this post, tell him you love him and sit back - think about the courses that will come next year.

Or you can mope and complain about it - but in the end you are not going.

Read any newspaper on any day and you can find sob stories about how parents mistreat their kids for whatever reason.

Sounds like you got a good parent and you do not even know it.

Time for a look in your mirror - examine what you see. Is she a mature person or a whiner?

Only you can say for sure.

Having the strength to make an unpopular decision makes me believe you got a winner for a Dad.

I notice you have been mysteriously absent from this thread - although I am sure you are reading it. Perhaps a response to these replies you requested is in order?

Bez'

 

[rwtherefords]

Your Father will always have more life experience then you and should be respected even if you disagree. He knows more about you and the areas in which you live than we will ever know. You are showing disrespect by seeking the advice of strangers to counter his.

If I were you I would delete your post and apologize to him.

I agree completely! Apparently, he was unsuccessful in teaching you to "Honor your Mother and Father." Whether he didn't teach it or it never took root, we'll never know. Give your Father the respect he deserves, and delete your post that started this thread.

 

[dun]

Good for him

dun

 

[Jake]

Good for him

dun

I AGREE!! the hardest part for us as kids is admiting that the parents are right, we just have to accept it sometimes.

 

[Chuckie]

nicci, First I want to remind everyone that the younger you are, you live for the moment. Everyone has been in your shoes. So don't be so hard on nicci. We need to know that others think along the same way your parents do. I wish I had a dollar for every time my parents wouldn't let me do something that I thought would honestly be OK. Everyone else was doing it. It is odd to find out what some of the others went through after I became older. They weren't having as good of a time as it seemed when I was on the outside looking in. Seems everyone else did it and there was no problem from my view. But I was being punished for wanting to do it because, "Johnny parents were letting him do it or etc...."
Young people cannot see beyond the moment. It was almost like your whole world stops if your plans don't go like you wanted. The younger you are, you live more just for that very moment, the future or the next day isn't in focus. That will change with age. The closest thing I can compare that to is if you have a dog, and when you leave, or tell him he can't ride, it breaks his heart. He doesn't think about another ride will ever come along since he is only geared to live for that very moment.
I have been in your shoes, and I know how you feel.
But also you have to think about some things going on in the present time. It hasn't been too long since Natalie Holloway went on a class trip and those useless worthless idiots put something in her drink and led her away from everyone and took turns raping her and now she is gone. These drugs are so easily passed around and I can guarantee that they are most likely in every situation and at every college. From what her friends and family said about Natalie, she was absolutely no dummy.
I hear every day about someone that comes up missing, and find out later how they were lured away with what appeared to be good intentions and kindness, but were killed within hours after getting in the car or leaving with their killers.
And that can happen so easily at school you are talking about. It happens all the time. Younger adults coming in for a course outside of the college are perfect targets. They are just leaving home and they act like they are taking you under their wing and they know how to manipulate the situation their way.
So the only thing you can be upset about is the love your parents have for you and they know you have so much time ahead of you. And the worse thing would be to look back at an innocent time at a college or school that turned into a night mare.
So, don't be so hard on them. Right now you think they are just being mean, in a short time, you will understand why they kept you safe. Imagine what Natalie Holloway's parents are going through for letting Natalie go on a supervised trip. If they had told her it wasn't a good idea, then she would still be alive.

 

[ctlbaron]

Nicci, being the father of a 17 year old girl, it's not necessarily you or what you will do that worries your Dad. It's the people around you that he may be worried about. I trust my daughter to go just about anywhere or do just about anything. But I don't always let her do these things because I know some of the things that go on out there. It's like driving, you can watch what you are doing and be very careful. That's not enough. You have to watch the other fellow as closely as you watch your self. Be glad your Daddy cares. Lot's of kids can't say that. 8)

 

[cypressfarms]

Nicci,

O.k. I'm an "inbetweener" I'm 36 and have two daughters and a son, all under 10. I didn't realize how smart my dad was until I had my first child (at 25 years of age). It was then that I called him almost crying thanking him the the years of grief I must have called him. I told him that I never knew what he was going through until I had a child of my own and started worrying about everything.

His reply to me was: The best way for you to thank me is to take care of your kids the best you can. They won't always like what you tell them, but in the long run, they'll be better for it. Is it worth damaging your relationship with your father by attending a class that you can attend a couple of years down the road?

Again, I never knew what it meant to be in his shoes until I was there. I'm not old (some would argue that), but I'm glad that my dad raised me strictly and put the foot down on me when he thought necessary.

Take the above as you want, but a lot of these people above has some serious life experiences behind them. One of the things that my dad told me that I like the most is: A smart man learns from his mistakes, but I want you to learn from other's mistakes.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Some great advice there Cypress. Well said. ;-)

 

[Beefy]

where is n i c c i ?

 

[Farmhand]

I was wondering that too.

Evidently she didn't like everyones opinions (which I agree with also) and isn't talking to us anymore.

 

[msscamp]

Maybe she is feeling a little embarassed and doesn't quite know how to make it right?

 

[Farmhand]

I'm hoping your right msscamp 'cuz the only other answer is that she's in her room pouting and that would make her dad even more right in not letting her go.

nicci - if msscamp is right, then come back to us. There is nothing wrong with realizing your dad is right but still not liking his decision. Been there many times myself when I was your age.

 

[msscamp]

I'm hoping I'm right too, Farmhand, and I'm sure not going to argue on the alternative.