Jogeephus
Well-known member
I just thought I'd share some of the great knowledge I gained from dealing with the government tax collectors these last few days. Please bare with me as the knowledge I've gained from this experience is so worth my time and yours. First of all, did you know that you can be fined $460 by the department of labor for paying all your taxes promptly?
Yes, when you board the crazy train in Atlanta Georgia all things become possible. But how you ask? Well its all so simple really, they fine you for not filing the paperwork in a timely manner? How could this be when you claim to have paid the taxes in a timely manner and to do this you had to send in a check and the required paperwork?
Well I have to be honest, it is partly my fault. I am not PERFECT. For this, I am sorry and I am sorry I did not put the same number I wrote on the other pages on the summary form on page 1. Yes, I know this made no difference in any of the calculations nor did it affect the amount of taxes I owed but it was an omission and we cannot have that.
But how could you be fined for not filing in a timely manner when your check was cashed promptly before the deadline so they must have also received the forms since the check was affixed to the forms?
You make a fair point but you must remember we are on the Crazy Train and the Crazy Train has a ravenous unquenchable appetite for money so money must be sought and realities changed to feed the beast. So by Georgia Law, a form is not considered in the possession of the government if the form isn't completely and accurately filled out therefore my not writing the same number three times made the form, "not delivered" but amazingly the check had no trouble being cashed nor did they have any trouble producing the "non-delivered" forms.
Since this was such a breach of protocol an agent drove nearly 100 miles to come see me and discuss my incompetent act to get a clearer understanding of why I had not written the number three times. I am so shamed that he had to do this knowing full well the fossil fuels he consumed can never be replaced. For this I am sorry.
After gaining some strength and regaining my composure after a good cry I found the nerve to leap from the crazy train and reflect in a non twilight zone atmosphere and I grew angry and decided to make a phone call further up the line to see if the crazies had made it this far up the food chain.
As I waited on hold waiting to speak to a human - and dam I really need to learn Spanish - I learned something else that is really neat I thought you folks would like to know. You know the old saying, "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS"? You may be familiar with it but I bet I know something you don't know. You see while I was waiting on the prompt service from the government my brain went into a lull - sortof a dazed or beat dog type arrhythmia - almost brain dead but not quite. To break the monotony, I spent some time on Google and in my flat-lined state I began to wonder what the phrase DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS would say if I translated it to Japanese, then to Bulgarian, then to Polish, then to Korean and then back to English. The result is, "Texas is what goes around and confused". Bet you didn't know that? I told you I was learning a lot. I finally got an answering machine and left a message. Apparently folks in gov't don't work on Friday or on Thursday for that matter.
Picked up phone and called another number. One much further up the food chain. Up there under the gold dome. Got a quick answer and without any mention of whether I wanted to speak in Spanish - just a person - an English speaking non ebonic speaking person.. Few minutes later things were resolved and I got a feeling a load of cow dung was rolling downhill and fast.
I am so amazed that they went to such efforts to be sure the $5.10 tax I sent them was properly figured and that the payroll was written down the mandatory three times to make it legit.
I began to think that maybe someone had snuck up and while I wasn't looking they tattooed "be nice" ME on the back of my neck till I talked to a friend who told me his wife had just been fined $55 for miscalculating her sales tax reporting by one cent.
I spoke to Eli about this and he is really upset with the whole situation however he is mad with me for making a simple mistake. This has just floored him and has really shaken the foundation of his beliefs that I am perfect and he thinks I as an employer should fire myself as an employee. Eli thinks that this is the best answer to it all since it is obvious I am incapable of writing the same number three times and there is no place for me in the work force. He may be right. I guess the $300/week I'd draw from unemployment would be alright especially if I got another job working for cash. And this way I'd never be in the position to make such a grave error on such an important form. Eli is a smart dog. Anyone know how long you can draw unemployment before you have to find a job? I asked Eli but he wouldn't tell me cause he doesn't think I should go back to work.
Yes, when you board the crazy train in Atlanta Georgia all things become possible. But how you ask? Well its all so simple really, they fine you for not filing the paperwork in a timely manner? How could this be when you claim to have paid the taxes in a timely manner and to do this you had to send in a check and the required paperwork?
Well I have to be honest, it is partly my fault. I am not PERFECT. For this, I am sorry and I am sorry I did not put the same number I wrote on the other pages on the summary form on page 1. Yes, I know this made no difference in any of the calculations nor did it affect the amount of taxes I owed but it was an omission and we cannot have that.
But how could you be fined for not filing in a timely manner when your check was cashed promptly before the deadline so they must have also received the forms since the check was affixed to the forms?
You make a fair point but you must remember we are on the Crazy Train and the Crazy Train has a ravenous unquenchable appetite for money so money must be sought and realities changed to feed the beast. So by Georgia Law, a form is not considered in the possession of the government if the form isn't completely and accurately filled out therefore my not writing the same number three times made the form, "not delivered" but amazingly the check had no trouble being cashed nor did they have any trouble producing the "non-delivered" forms.
Since this was such a breach of protocol an agent drove nearly 100 miles to come see me and discuss my incompetent act to get a clearer understanding of why I had not written the number three times. I am so shamed that he had to do this knowing full well the fossil fuels he consumed can never be replaced. For this I am sorry.
After gaining some strength and regaining my composure after a good cry I found the nerve to leap from the crazy train and reflect in a non twilight zone atmosphere and I grew angry and decided to make a phone call further up the line to see if the crazies had made it this far up the food chain.
As I waited on hold waiting to speak to a human - and dam I really need to learn Spanish - I learned something else that is really neat I thought you folks would like to know. You know the old saying, "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS"? You may be familiar with it but I bet I know something you don't know. You see while I was waiting on the prompt service from the government my brain went into a lull - sortof a dazed or beat dog type arrhythmia - almost brain dead but not quite. To break the monotony, I spent some time on Google and in my flat-lined state I began to wonder what the phrase DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS would say if I translated it to Japanese, then to Bulgarian, then to Polish, then to Korean and then back to English. The result is, "Texas is what goes around and confused". Bet you didn't know that? I told you I was learning a lot. I finally got an answering machine and left a message. Apparently folks in gov't don't work on Friday or on Thursday for that matter.
Picked up phone and called another number. One much further up the food chain. Up there under the gold dome. Got a quick answer and without any mention of whether I wanted to speak in Spanish - just a person - an English speaking non ebonic speaking person.. Few minutes later things were resolved and I got a feeling a load of cow dung was rolling downhill and fast.
I am so amazed that they went to such efforts to be sure the $5.10 tax I sent them was properly figured and that the payroll was written down the mandatory three times to make it legit.
I began to think that maybe someone had snuck up and while I wasn't looking they tattooed "be nice" ME on the back of my neck till I talked to a friend who told me his wife had just been fined $55 for miscalculating her sales tax reporting by one cent.
I spoke to Eli about this and he is really upset with the whole situation however he is mad with me for making a simple mistake. This has just floored him and has really shaken the foundation of his beliefs that I am perfect and he thinks I as an employer should fire myself as an employee. Eli thinks that this is the best answer to it all since it is obvious I am incapable of writing the same number three times and there is no place for me in the work force. He may be right. I guess the $300/week I'd draw from unemployment would be alright especially if I got another job working for cash. And this way I'd never be in the position to make such a grave error on such an important form. Eli is a smart dog. Anyone know how long you can draw unemployment before you have to find a job? I asked Eli but he wouldn't tell me cause he doesn't think I should go back to work.
tysm for sharing.. and Eli is a smart dog 
