Saw my friend today while feeding, his name is Ralph Hammarnickel. A funny name but the county where my farm is located is a part of Kentucky known for its oddities. First, it is the home of Blue Licks Battlefield State Park. The first skirmish of the Revolutionary War. Robertson County is the least densely populated County in the State Of Kentucky. Getting back to names, there is a family here with the last name of Mickydick. But here is one that beats that. When I was in college, there was a girl from Ohio in my Invertebrate Zoology class whose name was Dawanna Faulk. The professor told me, you never wanted to get in a hurry when calling out her name in class. Sorry for the diversion. Anyway, Ralph said he had seen a Bigfoot several times going into and out of his hay barn at night. The barn is one of those old post and wood pin barns with a hay loft that old-timers used to put up loose hay. He said there was still some loose hay in the loft. When he was checking out the loft after the Bigfoot sighting, he found a pair of panties in the hay. He said they were four feet across at the waist band. When he checked the label, he said they were custom made by a big and tall clothing store up in the pacific northwest. He said he knew they belonged to a women who lives alone on the farm next to his. We call her Big Bertha. In fact, I have a cow named after her. She is my big cow and will go every bit of 2,000 pounds. Anyway, Big Bertha is the biggest woman I have ever seen or heard of. The county doctor said she was in one time to treat a honey locust thorn she had ran in her elbow. She refused to get on the scales. He said there is no doubt in his mind that she is 7 feet tall and not an ounce of fat on her. Solid as a rock. Just a giant of a women. Ralph is sure it is her panties that he found in his hay loft. He said the hay was mashed down like a draft horse had bedded in it.
I looked at Ralph and could see he was dead serious. I said, “Ralph, are you telling me that Big Bertha is meeting Bigfoot in your loft for romance?” He said it would seem so. I said that is hard to believe. He said no, not really. We don’t know a lot about Bigfoot. Might be a pretty good sort of creature and what else could come close to satisfying Big Bertha. I said, “I see what you mean.”
After hearing this, I bet these Bigfoot creatures would never harm a calf. In fact, I bet they are vegetarians.
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