Holy cow! Yall are taking this to seriously! I just thought some of you might get a kick out of me being on silent treatment and not even knowing about it. I supose that's not such a good thing but we are really busy poeple right now and we do tend to give our available time to the kids (two that are ours biologically and one that is ours by choice) and not each other.
I'm kinda like 3waycross, I just poke until she blows up. I start(once I figure out that I'm in trouble) by asking every few hours if everything is still all my fault and keep at it for however long it takes.
I cracked her today and had to laugh. She's been so busy trying to stay MAD that she can't even remember what made her mad in the first place. :mrgreen: She pulled out everything she could think of but it was pretty week and I could tell she knew that it was weak as well. She's still not talking but she will shortly.
Since we got serious and touched on abusive relationships, I'll share something real about my wife and I. Maybe it can help someone in the same situation that doesn't know that they're in it yet.
My wife came from a home where she was molested as a young girl and watched her mom get beat alot. Her stepfather was such a monster that she was unable to have freinds over without him going after them as well. He was arrested a few times but nothing stuck.
Everything was fine when we got married and it was all repressed and comletly unknown to me until he started acting up in my home and I literally kicked his butt out as in he was crawling and I was kicking.
That night my wife was actually physically sick with emotion after seeing him get put in his place for a change. It was then that she told me... If I'd have know I can honestly say I wouldn't have let him get to the door.
Since then the enire situation has come to light and while many of his victims won't admit what happened I KNOW who they are by their reactions to me and her now that she has come out from under it.
My wife gets stronger every day but we've had a big can of worms as she works through her emotions and since I'm the alpha male in her life now, alot of times I'm resented for things that HE did to her.
I get alot of things like her wanting a new dress but being scared to ask for money from me because there was always retribution for even asking as a child and so now she's resenting me for denying her what she wants even though she never asked me. :hide: I spoil my wife whenever I can figure out what she wants.
Another big one that alot of abuse victims deal with: As she was growing up, her parents would say things intentionally to hurt her feelings so she learned to evaluate everything that her loved ones say as if they're trying to hurt her. I say"good morning babe, you look great today" and her mind literally jumps to the conclussion that I think she looks awful the rest of the time because that's how she was trained to think. Now I'm in trouble because I was being mean when I told her she looked great. :???:
Before I found out what was going on I nearly gave up on her but now I understand that she's not doing it by choice and when I get the part of her that isn't haunted by memories she's pretty easy to get along with. It's hard to remeber that sometimes I'm not dealing with a rational adult but with a scared teenage girl and I have to guide her out of it all and back into todays reality.
She swears I'm an impatient SOB but I beg to differ.
