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warpaint

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A pirate walked into a tavern, and the landlord said,"hello Cap'n, ain't seen you in years." "What has happened?" "You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" asked the pirate. "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg?", asks the landlord, "You didn't have that before."

"Well we were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannonball, but they fixed me up with this wooden leg, so it's all better now."

"Well, okay, but what about the hook, what happened there?" asked the landlord.

"Me and the mates were fishing, and caught a shark, just as we were about to land him, he bit me hand off. But they fixed me up with this hook, and I'm fine now."

Then the landlord asks, "What about the eyepatch?"

"OH, you see, one day at sea, a flock of seagulls flew over me ship. I looked up and one of em pooped in me eye."

"You're kidding," says the landlord, "You cant lose an eye just from poop!"

"Ah," says the pirate, "It was my first day with the hook!!" :shock: :shock: :shock:
 
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