A paramedics pov. Opinions?

[Anonymous]

"sometimes karma does happen. For example
Maybe a snotty drunk Scottsdale chic with a terrible attitude impales her leg on a 9" wrought iron picket on a locked apartment gate she's trying to climb and then falls and knocks two front teeth out. For example"

Now this is a quote from someone close to me. I know how I take it, but how do you all see this quote? Anyone that is or was in the medical field care to weigh in also?

 

[ga.prime]

"sometimes karma does happen. For example
Maybe a snotty drunk Scottsdale chic with a terrible attitude impales her leg on a 9" wrought iron picket on a locked apartment gate she's trying to climb and then falls and knocks two front teeth out. For example"

I know how I take it, but how do you all see this quote?

The guy being quoted thinks the girl got what she deserved.

 

[Anonymous]

Ok. Fair enough capt obvious. Haha

 

[I luv herfrds]

Depends upon the situation.
Karma and big mouth smart azz ER docs are fun things.

Story south of me. Drunk falls down in road. Paramedics arrive, guy refuses treatment. Cops show up. Guy refuses to sign care refusal form. Cops sign it.
Guy gets a lift home and goes to bed. Gets up next morning and falls on steps and damages his bracial artery. (The one in the upper arm)
Waits all day before seeking care. Tells 4 different people fell down steps. Changes story to being hit by car night before after losing his arm and has a milion dollar bill from hospital. Lawyer takes his money and sues everybody.
ER doc tells paramedics they should have brought him in, paramedics now deliver every single drunk in town to the ER. After week of this ER doc changes order. Paramedics still delivery drunks on nights he is on duty.
Case gets tossed though.

 

[Anonymous]

Ok. Now, add in the fact he is always making comments along these lines about he people in his care.
To be honest he's my little brother. He's a great medic. But he's working 90 hrs a week and going to
School. Has a kid that's just over a year old. I'm just concerned he's losing perspective but not sure how to get it across to him. Or even if it's my place to bring it up

 

[Jogeephus]

Losing perspective of what? Do you think there is a reason why the majority of all snakebites occur on the face and hands and also involve alcohol. Maybe his dark humor is his way of dealing with the stupid people he has to deal with on a regular basis. Afterall, to a great extent, is his job not to interfere and circumvent the Darwinian laws of nature?

If he's working 90 hours a week he needs to change his location. Our guys eat maybe 40 hours a week and spend the rest of the time sleeping but they are there when needed so that's all that counts.

 

[Anonymous]

Perspective of knowing he sees people on their worst day most of the time.
He will find fault in anyone. For example: if someone comes in with a heart attack he pokes fun at them because they eat too much meat.
Or if they get taken in for a suicide attempt he finds it funny that they couldn't do it right.
I don't see how it's funny.

 

[Jogeephus]

I know a lot of people in the medical field and they all seem to deal with it in different ways. Some grow cold and numb. Some find humor in it while a few carry it on their sleeves. I know three in the latter group that handled it this way and ended up taking their own lives. I think maybe this is just his way of dealing with the $hit he gets to take home with him every day.

 

[hillsdown]

Maybe it is his way of coping with situations he is not emotionally evolved enough to deal with .

When you say little brother I am thinking a young man in his early 20's and he has to yet experience what the rest of us have, that life is precious and circumstances sometimes take you by surprise ; no matter how hard we try we cannot control every situation.

If this is not the case then he needs a lesson in compassion and empathy . The best care givers in the world are those that actually care, but just because he does not show it outright to you does not mean that he doesn't think about each case and take it home with him everyday, especially now that he has a brand new life that he is responsible for .

 

[I luv herfrds]

He's getting burned out.
If he is finding fault in people who are having heart attacks and laughing at attempted suicides he needs to start looking for a new job or to get into counseling.

Hey I admit the fact we laugh at stuff most people would not, that is a stress relief for a majority of us, but he should not be doing it front of the public or patient.
Has he seen a criticial incident debriefing team? They offer help when needed.

 

[Anonymous]

You guys make some valid points. He has been at it for 6 years now I think. He's early 30's
And I do think he's gettin burnt out. He's trying to keep up with the jones' and his wife is on the high maintenance side. So he's working 2 fill time jobs. Emt on a bus and nurse at the er. And he's taking more classes.
He hasn't seem any counselors that I know of

 

[slick4591]

Hook, In these types of jobs people have to separate themselves from the humanity side of things for their own mental wellness. Seems like all they deal with are depressing situations day in and day out, and after a while it can get to be a very heavy load to carry. It sounds kind of animal like, but laughing at it or making fun of it is pretty common. If you keep all of it inside you'll eventually explode and those are never pretty situations.

Also, six years is not a time frame where I would expect him to be burned out, but the added pressures of the wife and extra job would create a burden. If he were my little brother I'd probably ask him about it and maybe get the conversation rolling. It could be enlightening for you both.

 

[cow pollinater]

Get him to take one full day off from both jobs and take him somewhere and do something totally different from what he's used to dealing with and he'll be a different person. Everything comes back into perspective when you quit dwelling on it.
I was getting pretty dark there for awhile myself. I was breeding a ten hour route seven days a week and taking care of my own cows and hiring the farming done. I got to where I couldn't even be around my kids without blowing up about something. Finally my dad convinced me to drop some dairies and handle the farming myself. I'm working more hours but just thinking about something else a couple of hours a day has made a world of differance. I don't think I'd have survived if any of what I do had the emotional rollercoaster that he has to go through as an emt. After a while burnout turns into an irrversable downhill slide where you're so tired that you can't even ask for help or set yourself up with a real day off.

 

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you figured that out cp. no amount of money is worth some prices I've seen paid lately.
I would take him and do something different but there's 2 problems.
First he's 1800 miles away. Second hes really peeved at me for even suggesting thy there's an issue. I may not be the most tactful person but I'm trying to look out for him. He's been posing all this stuff all over fb. One it doesn't look good in general. Two,it's gonna cost him. 3, it's gonna cost him his marriage and soon if he's never home.

 

[cow pollinater]

hes really peeved at me for even suggesting thy there's an issue. .

Bet he isn't as peeved as you think he is... He's peeved that what he's feeling is showing enough for everyone else to see it.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

hes really peeved at me for even suggesting thy there's an issue. .

Bet he isn't as peeved as you think he is... He's peeved that what he's feeling is showing enough for everyone else to see it.

*Bingo*!! AND most likely there's a part of him that feels he's between a rock and a hard place.

Overlook the fact that he's "peeved". Often it is our family and the folks we are closest to who get the brunt of our negativity....because subconsciously we know their love and caring is unconditional, and they will always be there for us.

When you talk with him about all this stuff, and you suggest that he cut back on hours or whatever, don't get mad at him when he gets pissy with you, be persistent but patient.

He's not in a good place.

Katherine

 

[Anonymous]

As of yesterday he threatened to fly out and have a boxing competition. Then he called me a lot of names and told me not to contact him anymore.
So I told him when he bottoms out and has nothing left even his wife and kid to look me up.
That's the best I can do. I try to help and it bites me in the azz.
Btw. All his opinions he was puttin out there on fb for everyone to hear. Stupid shyt.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

As of yesterday he threatened to fly out and have a boxing competition. Then he called me a lot of names and told me not to contact him anymore.
So I told him when he bottoms out and has nothing left even his wife and kid to look me up.
That's the best I can do. I try to help and it bites me in the azz.
Btw. All his opinions he was puttin out there on fb for everyone to hear. Stupid shyt.

Sounds like he's on the way down. Posting all that stuff on FB for the whole world to see will create a situation where someone else will make the choice and decision for him....he may end up losing one or both of his jobs. In a weird, twisted and convoluted way its like he's screaming for help, to get away from all that he sees and has to deal with each day.

Good luck with him Hook. He needs help.

Katherine

 

[circlebllc]

That sucks. Classic burnout. Been there, done that. Been paramedic for 15 years, not all good ones. Only way to make money in EMS is the OT. Believe me, we don't like being told we are burnt out, it does need to be said. Things will catch up to him. Either he is in money problems or working to stay away from home. Maybe both. He knows you will still be there when he needs you, however long that takes. Yes, we can be pretty dark. We deal with things differently, we see things differently. I am assuming he is working for a private company. Gods peace, for both of you.

 

[Kathie in Thorp]

Patient/client privilege. If he doesn't mention names, he might be OK; but circumstances can also be near as close as names. Burnout is heavy with LE, FF, PMs and hospital folks. I work with LE people; even in private emails, we talk in circles. Sometimes, you just need to vent, because your day gets so loaded up with crap (or you get dis-allusioned with what you do and the worth of it), but you have to be careful how you vent.