>> Number One Idiot of 2007
>>
>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
>> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
>> that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
>> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
>> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
>> poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>
>> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Two Idiot of 2007
>> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
>> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of
>> the plane and home.
>>
>> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
>> Coast Guard> helicopter coming towards them.
>>
>> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
>> employed at Boeing.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Number Three Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
>> Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in
line,
>> waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
>> had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
>> reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
>> crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
>> minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
>> read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
>> brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
>> stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
>> and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposi t slip or
go back to Bank of America.
>>
>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
>>
>> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Four Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in
>> the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
>> he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
>>
>> Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
>> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed
in his $40.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Five Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
>> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
>> in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
>> counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
>> well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you
>> are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
>> give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
>> robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk.
>>
>> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
>> and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with
>> his loot.
>>
>> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address
>> of the > robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
>> hours later.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Six of 2007
>>
>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
>>
>> The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the
>> startled first bandit shot him.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Seven of 2007
>>
>> Arkansas:
>> Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
>> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
>> booze, and run.
>>
>> So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The > cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the
>> liquor store window was made of Plexiglass.
>>
>> The whole event was caught on videotape.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Eight of 2007
>>
>> I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ) We recently
>> had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to
>> request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
>>
>> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
>> think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> STAY ALERT!
>>
>> They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!
>>
>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
>> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
>> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
>> that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
>> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
>> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
>> poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>
>> I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Two Idiot of 2007
>> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
>> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of
>> the plane and home.
>>
>> Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
>> Coast Guard> helicopter coming towards them.
>>
>> It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
>> employed at Boeing.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Number Three Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
>> Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in
line,
>> waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
>> had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
>> reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
>> crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
>> minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
>> read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
>> brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
>> stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
>> and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposi t slip or
go back to Bank of America.
>>
>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
>>
>> He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Four Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received
in
>> the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment,
>> he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
>>
>> Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
>> contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed
in his $40.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Number Five Idiot of 2007
>>
>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
>> all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash
>> in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
>> counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
>> well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you
>> are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
>> give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
>> robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk.
>>
>> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
>> and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store
with
>> his loot.
>>
>> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address
>> of the > robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
>> hours later.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Six of 2007
>>
>> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
>>
>> The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the
>> startled first bandit shot him.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Seven of 2007
>>
>> Arkansas:
>> Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
>> just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
>> booze, and run.
>>
>> So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The > cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the
>> liquor store window was made of Plexiglass.
>>
>> The whole event was caught on videotape.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> Idiot Number Eight of 2007
>>
>> I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ) We recently
>> had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to
>> request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
>>
>> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
>> think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> STAY ALERT!
>>
>> They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!
