25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

[Sir Loin]

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good ****.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh **** what the **** happened?”

Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old a**

 

[chrisy]

 

[Lammie]

I resemble that remark.

 

[backhoeboogie]

I resemble that remark.

That's a matter of opinion. You look better than most 20 year olds, except you don't dress like they do - thank goodness.

 

[Lammie]

As to #25, if I found out one of my friends is pregnant, we are either going to sue the doc that tied her tubes or call the Guiness Book of World Records. :shock:

I find that all desires for a late in life baby melt away after holding a squirming toddler for a few minutes. Chasing after them is a great way to lose weight, though.

 

[flaboy]

Well, based on this I am half grown up. :shock: