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Measure twice, cut once.

Frosty has a hyper extended tendons issue.

I put it in my front pocket and make sure both arms are full walking out. If they ask to see it, I tell them it's in my pocket if they're feeling lucky they can go get it.

Did you ever notice in the movie City Slickers they started out their cattle drive with mostly longhorns and ended up in Colorado with mostly Herefords?

I'm really getting into the Thanksgiving spirit. I've given several people the bird already this week.

We found out Grampa is addicted to Viagara. No one's talking it harder than Gramma.

What is a cow's favorite class in high school? Cowculas. And where do they go to eat lunch? the calfeteria.

Solar flares

We like retaining heifers because we know the genetics and docility of the mothers and grandmothers. But, with feeder prices up now it's getting expensive to keep and wait two years before you get a return. My dad always said he could buy bred replacements cheaper than raising our own, but you...

Plant some larger fast growing trees along the property line, especially ones that will cast a long shadow onto the neighbor's field.

Cows with pilot lights, patent pending.

Arss kisser.

Boss said: "you've been late to work three times this week, do you know what that means?" Me: "...ugh, it's Wednesday?"

I have some Dryshod Arctic boots and I have wide feet. They are comfortable and warm, well worth the money. We get temps near zero in the winter and never had issues with cold feet.

T-Rex kidney stone

We have a commercial herd of about 35 and most all have ear tags, mainly so we can keep the momas and babies pair correctly. We figured we could tell our cows if they ever got out even without tags. Then we had two solid black cows loose their ear tags at the same time and boy was it hard trying...

One of the news outlets interviewed a worker who said at least one of the cows had an ear tag when they penned it up, but from the videos posted by the "sanctuary" neither have tags now.

So she says he doesn't have proof he's the rightful owner, but wants to present him with a bill and try to buy them from him. $100 per day per head to board two cows.

I always wondered why no one in the east brands anymore. we don't have really any open range. It might be a reason to start doing it again with all the PETA animal hoarders popping up.

Greyson the owner is actually a New York State Trooper in his day job.