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Women changing...or not changing... their last name
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<blockquote data-quote="bball" data-source="post: 1469607" data-attributes="member: 23752"><p>I wish to add, you do NOT become Mrs. His last name, you become DR. His last name. That title should not change, no matter your last name. You worked very hard for that title, made great sacrifices to acquire it. It is yours. You keep that. Last name, that's a different story.</p><p></p><p>The whole part of "us" and losing "me" thing. This is precisely what marriage is. We trade many aspects of me to become part of a greater we (hopefully). Its supposed to be the beautiful thing about marriage. The companionship, security, stability, etc. Marriage plays a significant role in redefining our identities, especially to younger folks who just finished forming their identity in their 20s. Now, enter another huge change. Important decisions have to be made before one marries. Namely, what aspects of me am I willing to exchange or lose to be part of the 'we'. You get to make those decisions. You decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. Just as he does as well about himself.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I have no doubts you love your groom to be and he loves you. But what is love? Love is many things listed in the Bible, but the simplest, greatest example is Jesus on the cross. No flowery prose, but the dying example of love incarnate. Love is SACRIFICE. Sacrifice is putting another's needs or wants above our own, with no personal gain for ourselves. When we learn to do this, along with healthy communication, we will find so many of your conflicts melt away. Sacrifice is an extremely difficult discipline to practice and sacrificial people are easily taken advantage of by those less sacrificial in nature; hence the importance of being certain your spouse is equally yoked in his willingness to sacrifice. I will close with this, there is no sacrifice I wouldn't make for my bride, and I believe the same of her. </p><p>Truly, best wishes to you both on your journey through, love, life and time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bball, post: 1469607, member: 23752"] I wish to add, you do NOT become Mrs. His last name, you become DR. His last name. That title should not change, no matter your last name. You worked very hard for that title, made great sacrifices to acquire it. It is yours. You keep that. Last name, that's a different story. The whole part of "us" and losing "me" thing. This is precisely what marriage is. We trade many aspects of me to become part of a greater we (hopefully). Its supposed to be the beautiful thing about marriage. The companionship, security, stability, etc. Marriage plays a significant role in redefining our identities, especially to younger folks who just finished forming their identity in their 20s. Now, enter another huge change. Important decisions have to be made before one marries. Namely, what aspects of me am I willing to exchange or lose to be part of the 'we'. You get to make those decisions. You decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. Just as he does as well about himself. Finally, I have no doubts you love your groom to be and he loves you. But what is love? Love is many things listed in the Bible, but the simplest, greatest example is Jesus on the cross. No flowery prose, but the dying example of love incarnate. Love is SACRIFICE. Sacrifice is putting another's needs or wants above our own, with no personal gain for ourselves. When we learn to do this, along with healthy communication, we will find so many of your conflicts melt away. Sacrifice is an extremely difficult discipline to practice and sacrificial people are easily taken advantage of by those less sacrificial in nature; hence the importance of being certain your spouse is equally yoked in his willingness to sacrifice. I will close with this, there is no sacrifice I wouldn't make for my bride, and I believe the same of her. Truly, best wishes to you both on your journey through, love, life and time! [/QUOTE]
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