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Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
What does your business card say
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<blockquote data-quote="Darhawk" data-source="post: 511202" data-attributes="member: 7766"><p><strong>Anesthesiologist business card:</strong></p><p>When you care enough to sleep with the very best.</p><p></p><p>**************************************</p><p><strong>In a Podiatrist's office:</strong></p><p>"Time wounds all heels."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>On a Septic Tank Truck:</strong></p><p>Yesterday's Meals on Wheels</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At a Proctologist's door:</strong></p><p>"To expedite your visit please back in."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>On a Plumber's truck:</strong></p><p>"We repair what your husband fixed"</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>On another Plumber's truck:</strong></p><p>"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>On a Church's Billboard:</strong></p><p>"7 days without God makes one weak."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At a Tire Shop inMilwaukee :</strong></p><p>"Invite us to your next blowout."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At a Towing company:</strong></p><p>"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>On an Electrician's truck:</strong></p><p>"Let us remove your shorts."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>In a Nonsmoking Area:</strong></p><p>"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>On a Maternity Room door:</strong></p><p>"Push. Push. Push."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At an Optometrist's Office:</strong></p><p>"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>On a Taxidermist's window:</strong></p><p>"We really know our stuff"</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>On a Fence:</strong></p><p>"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At a Car Dealership:</strong></p><p>"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>Outside a Muffler Shop:</strong></p><p>"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>In a Veterinarian's waiting room:</strong></p><p>"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>At the Electric Company</strong></p><p>"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.</p><p>However, if you don't, you will be."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p></p><p><strong>In a Restaurant window:</strong></p><p>"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>In the front yard of a Funeral Home:</strong></p><p>"Drive carefully. We'll wait."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>At a Propane Filling Station:</strong></p><p>"Thank heaven for little grills."</p><p></p><p>**************************</p><p><strong>And don't forget the sign at a</strong></p><p><strong>ChicagoRadiator Shop:</strong></p><p></p><p>"Best place in town to take a leak"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Darhawk, post: 511202, member: 7766"] [b]Anesthesiologist business card:[/b] When you care enough to sleep with the very best. ************************************** [b]In a Podiatrist's office:[/b] "Time wounds all heels." ************************** [b]On a Septic Tank Truck:[/b] Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** [b]At a Proctologist's door:[/b] "To expedite your visit please back in." ************************** [b]On a Plumber's truck:[/b] "We repair what your husband fixed" ************************** [b]On another Plumber's truck:[/b] "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.." ************************** [b]On a Church's Billboard:[/b] "7 days without God makes one weak." ************************** [b]At a Tire Shop inMilwaukee :[/b] "Invite us to your next blowout." ************************** [b]At a Towing company:[/b] "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ************************** [b]On an Electrician's truck:[/b] "Let us remove your shorts." ************************** [b]In a Nonsmoking Area:[/b] "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ************************** [b]On a Maternity Room door:[/b] "Push. Push. Push." ************************** [b]At an Optometrist's Office:[/b] "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ************************** [b]On a Taxidermist's window:[/b] "We really know our stuff" ************************** [b]On a Fence:[/b] "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" ************************** [b]At a Car Dealership:[/b] "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ************************** [b]Outside a Muffler Shop:[/b] "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ************************** [b]In a Veterinarian's waiting room:[/b] "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ************************** [b]At the Electric Company[/b] "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ************************** [b]In a Restaurant window:[/b] "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ************************** [b]In the front yard of a Funeral Home:[/b] "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ************************** [b]At a Propane Filling Station:[/b] "Thank heaven for little grills." ************************** [b]And don't forget the sign at a ChicagoRadiator Shop:[/b] "Best place in town to take a leak" [/QUOTE]
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