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Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Wal-Mart Humor
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<blockquote data-quote="Rustler9" data-source="post: 150488" data-attributes="member: 440"><p>Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/friends are taking their sweet time: </p><p> </p><p></p><p>1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. </p><p> </p><p>2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. </p><p> </p><p>3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. </p><p> </p><p>4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens. </p><p> </p><p>5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. </p><p> </p><p>6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. </p><p> </p><p>7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department. </p><p> </p><p>8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' </p><p> </p><p>9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose. </p><p> </p><p>10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. </p><p> </p><p>11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. </p><p> </p><p>12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. </p><p> </p><p>13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME! </p><p> </p><p>14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! </p><p> </p><p>And; last, but not least! </p><p> </p><p>15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rustler9, post: 150488, member: 440"] Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/friends are taking their sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME! 14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! And; last, but not least! 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" [/QUOTE]
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