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Coffee Shop
Thought the Women on Here Might Enjoy These.
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<blockquote data-quote="MoGal" data-source="post: 171551" data-attributes="member: 1346"><p>Here's a few more to start your day with a grin...... (Victoria hope you don't mind I added them onto your thread instead of starting another thread) </p><p></p><p>HORSES vs HUSBANDS</p><p>THE HUSBAND'S ADVANTAGE:</p><p> 1. Husbands are less expensive to shoe.</p><p> 2. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay.</p><p> 3. A lame husband can still work.</p><p> 4. A husband with a belly-ache doesn't have to be walked.</p><p> 5. Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back or slobber on your shirt sleeves.</p><p> 6. They're better able to understand puns..</p><p> 7. If they're playing hard to catch, you *may* be able to run them down on foot.</p><p> 8. They know their name.</p><p> 9. They pay their own bills. (Well, some do...)</p><p> 10. They apologize when they step on your toes.</p><p> 11. No saddle fitting problems.</p><p> 12. They seldom refuse to get in the vehicle.</p><p> 13. They don't panic, yelling and running all through the house when you leave them alone. (Unless you left the kids with them, too.)</p><p> 14. For a nominal fee you can hire someone else to clip them.</p><p> 15. They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because she fed him 3 days straight.</p><p></p><p> THE HORSE'S ADVANTAGE:</p><p> 1. If they don't work out you can sell them.</p><p> 2. They don't come with in-laws.</p><p> 3. You don't have to worry about your children looking like them.</p><p> 4. You never have to iron the saddle pads.</p><p> 5. If you get too fat for one you can shop for a bigger one.</p><p> 6. They smell good when they sweat.</p><p> 7. You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape.</p><p> 8. It's possible to keep them from "jumping the fence".</p><p> 9. You can force them to stay in good physical condition.</p><p> 10. They don't want their turn at the computer.</p><p> 11. They turn white with age, but not bald.</p><p> 12. They've never *heard* of PMS.</p><p> 13. They learn to accept restraint..</p><p> 14. They love to go trail riding.</p><p> 15. They don't care what you look like, as long as you have a carrot.</p><p></p><p>NOW FOR THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND HORSES:</p><p> 1. They both seem to be proficient at "selective listening".</p><p> 2. Neither one likes too tight of a rein.</p><p> 3. They both need help getting dressed and rarely have any fashion sense.</p><p> 4. Neither one has really figured out the washing machine, dishwasher, or iron.</p><p> 5. They both fart loudly in front of you without embarrassment.</p><p> 6. They both get hairier as they get older.</p><p> 7. We make them both get a haircut and shave for their own good, but they would both rather run around totally furry.</p><p> 8. They are both usually trainable.</p><p> 9. But, both will always have vices that annoy you, whether it be cribbing or just leaving the toilet seat up.</p><p> 10. If you treat them right and love them well, they will both do just about anything for you.</p><p></p><p></p><p> "You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink." -- Mae West</p><p></p><p></p><p>BUS RIDE</p><p>A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down</p><p>and engage in an animated conversation.</p><p>The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but</p><p>her attention is galvanized when she hears one of</p><p>the men say the following:</p><p>"Emma come first.</p><p>Den I come.</p><p>Den two asses come together.</p><p>I come once-a-more.</p><p>Two asses, they come together again.</p><p>I come again and pee twice.</p><p>Then I come one lasta time."</p><p>"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly.</p><p>"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"</p><p>"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.</p><p>"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda</p><p>how to spella Mississippi.""</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MoGal, post: 171551, member: 1346"] Here's a few more to start your day with a grin...... (Victoria hope you don't mind I added them onto your thread instead of starting another thread) HORSES vs HUSBANDS THE HUSBAND'S ADVANTAGE: 1. Husbands are less expensive to shoe. 2. Feeding a husband doesn't require anything that even mildly compares with the hassle of putting up hay. 3. A lame husband can still work. 4. A husband with a belly-ache doesn't have to be walked. 5. Husbands don't try to scratch their heads on your back or slobber on your shirt sleeves. 6. They're better able to understand puns.. 7. If they're playing hard to catch, you *may* be able to run them down on foot. 8. They know their name. 9. They pay their own bills. (Well, some do...) 10. They apologize when they step on your toes. 11. No saddle fitting problems. 12. They seldom refuse to get in the vehicle. 13. They don't panic, yelling and running all through the house when you leave them alone. (Unless you left the kids with them, too.) 14. For a nominal fee you can hire someone else to clip them. 15. They don't like the lady next door just as well as you, just because she fed him 3 days straight. THE HORSE'S ADVANTAGE: 1. If they don't work out you can sell them. 2. They don't come with in-laws. 3. You don't have to worry about your children looking like them. 4. You never have to iron the saddle pads. 5. If you get too fat for one you can shop for a bigger one. 6. They smell good when they sweat. 7. You can repair their "clothes" with duct tape. 8. It's possible to keep them from "jumping the fence". 9. You can force them to stay in good physical condition. 10. They don't want their turn at the computer. 11. They turn white with age, but not bald. 12. They've never *heard* of PMS. 13. They learn to accept restraint.. 14. They love to go trail riding. 15. They don't care what you look like, as long as you have a carrot. NOW FOR THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND HORSES: 1. They both seem to be proficient at "selective listening". 2. Neither one likes too tight of a rein. 3. They both need help getting dressed and rarely have any fashion sense. 4. Neither one has really figured out the washing machine, dishwasher, or iron. 5. They both fart loudly in front of you without embarrassment. 6. They both get hairier as they get older. 7. We make them both get a haircut and shave for their own good, but they would both rather run around totally furry. 8. They are both usually trainable. 9. But, both will always have vices that annoy you, whether it be cribbing or just leaving the toilet seat up. 10. If you treat them right and love them well, they will both do just about anything for you. "You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink." -- Mae West BUS RIDE A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."" [/QUOTE]
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