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The JoMonsanto Cattle Company
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<blockquote data-quote="Jogeephus" data-source="post: 526933" data-attributes="member: 4362"><p>Mike, I truly believe if the average voter understood how they have rigged the seed business this would get struck down in a heartbeat. However, until that time comes, you have a guaranteed job In the JC Co. as Chief Legal and Technical Adviser of the Western Hemisphere. This job, along with its many perks and gold parachute retirement plan, will have a seven figure yearly salary, 401K, profit sharing and I'm working toward getting income taxes waved on your salary.</p><p></p><p>Mmntranching, I think we definitely need a World Wide Public Relations Manager who can take dignitaries and politicians hunting and fishing. This of course will come with Carte Blanche and anything you want will be at your beckoning call. Of course, though I know money is of no concern to you as you will be doing this for the good of the industry, your salary and perk package will be identical to everyone in the upper tiers of this company. But there is one condition. You must report to the main office at least once a year whether you have anything to do or not.</p><p></p><p>Jalopy, I like the way you think. We've just ordered your desk for your office and your name plate is on the door. I hope you don't mind that your jacuzzi on the patio of your private office is facing east and it might get a little shady late in the afternoon. But then again, I imagine the late lunches would probably keep you from returning to the office after lunch anyhow. We understand how busy you can get. BTW - perks are the same - not that it would matter to you.</p><p></p><p>John250, the idea of rice sounds good. Just think how much we could pull in from the east if we could get a patent on the rice. Reckon our politicians - I mean major stockholders could help us strong arm or convince the Chinese and Vietmanese governments to go along with a technology fee on rice? Wonder how much it would cost us to get some favorable legislation passed in these countries? If your up to it, you got a job. If you don't like that proposal, pick a state or a region and you can be the regional director of this area. You'll need to put in at least four hours a week though. Same perks.</p><p></p><p>Horticattlman, the American Angus Association is no more as we now hold the patent rights to the black gene. Angus is now called JoMoneyMakers and the AAA is now called the World Wide JoMoneyMakers Association. If you raise black cattle it is madatory that you join otherwise the feds will get you for infringement of patent rights punishable with several hundred thousand dollar fines and prison terms. Joining the Association is simple, $100 annual fee and $35 per head per year. Also, we are redoing the database and anyone with registered cattle will need to grind the tattoos off and retatoo using a new premise ID number as well as an individual id number that we will issue for a small fee. BTW - we are needing a regional rep in your area. Interested in helping out the agricultural communtity? </p><p></p><p>*****News Flash***** I'm proud to announce we have just rehired the entire accounting staff of Authur Anderson to help us with our bookkeeping. Since we are going public, this will be very important to have some savvy experienced accountants on board. They have suggested that we begin sale of stock at $200 per share. For each $400 we take in we will create an extra share internally and this will be kicked into the upper management's profit sharing plan. If the govmint determines that our patents won't hold mustard then we can continue to create more internal shares and kick them into the profit plan in the event people quite investing in our company. We can dump all our shares just before we publish the daming quarterly report and we can all float down to our private islands with our golden parachutes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jogeephus, post: 526933, member: 4362"] Mike, I truly believe if the average voter understood how they have rigged the seed business this would get struck down in a heartbeat. However, until that time comes, you have a guaranteed job In the JC Co. as Chief Legal and Technical Adviser of the Western Hemisphere. This job, along with its many perks and gold parachute retirement plan, will have a seven figure yearly salary, 401K, profit sharing and I'm working toward getting income taxes waved on your salary. Mmntranching, I think we definitely need a World Wide Public Relations Manager who can take dignitaries and politicians hunting and fishing. This of course will come with Carte Blanche and anything you want will be at your beckoning call. Of course, though I know money is of no concern to you as you will be doing this for the good of the industry, your salary and perk package will be identical to everyone in the upper tiers of this company. But there is one condition. You must report to the main office at least once a year whether you have anything to do or not. Jalopy, I like the way you think. We've just ordered your desk for your office and your name plate is on the door. I hope you don't mind that your jacuzzi on the patio of your private office is facing east and it might get a little shady late in the afternoon. But then again, I imagine the late lunches would probably keep you from returning to the office after lunch anyhow. We understand how busy you can get. BTW - perks are the same - not that it would matter to you. John250, the idea of rice sounds good. Just think how much we could pull in from the east if we could get a patent on the rice. Reckon our politicians - I mean major stockholders could help us strong arm or convince the Chinese and Vietmanese governments to go along with a technology fee on rice? Wonder how much it would cost us to get some favorable legislation passed in these countries? If your up to it, you got a job. If you don't like that proposal, pick a state or a region and you can be the regional director of this area. You'll need to put in at least four hours a week though. Same perks. Horticattlman, the American Angus Association is no more as we now hold the patent rights to the black gene. Angus is now called JoMoneyMakers and the AAA is now called the World Wide JoMoneyMakers Association. If you raise black cattle it is madatory that you join otherwise the feds will get you for infringement of patent rights punishable with several hundred thousand dollar fines and prison terms. Joining the Association is simple, $100 annual fee and $35 per head per year. Also, we are redoing the database and anyone with registered cattle will need to grind the tattoos off and retatoo using a new premise ID number as well as an individual id number that we will issue for a small fee. BTW - we are needing a regional rep in your area. Interested in helping out the agricultural communtity? *****News Flash***** I'm proud to announce we have just rehired the entire accounting staff of Authur Anderson to help us with our bookkeeping. Since we are going public, this will be very important to have some savvy experienced accountants on board. They have suggested that we begin sale of stock at $200 per share. For each $400 we take in we will create an extra share internally and this will be kicked into the upper management's profit sharing plan. If the govmint determines that our patents won't hold mustard then we can continue to create more internal shares and kick them into the profit plan in the event people quite investing in our company. We can dump all our shares just before we publish the daming quarterly report and we can all float down to our private islands with our golden parachutes. [/QUOTE]
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