Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Stolen from ranchers.net
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Arnold Ziffle" data-source="post: 38905" data-attributes="member: 43"><p>Subject: The Cowboy </p><p> </p><p>A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a </p><p>brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a </p><p>young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, </p><p>leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" </p><p> </p><p>The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his </p><p>peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?" </p><p></p><p>The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects </p><p>it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he </p><p>calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his </p><p>location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area </p><p>in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital </p><p>photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, </p><p>"You have exactly 1586 cows and calves." </p><p> </p><p>"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the </p><p>cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW. </p><p> </p><p>Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly </p><p>what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man </p><p>thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" </p><p> </p><p>"You're a consultant." says the cowboy. </p><p> </p><p>"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" </p><p> </p><p>"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even </p><p>though nobody called you; then you wanted to get paid for an answer I </p><p>already knew; to a question I didn't ask; and you don't know anything </p><p>about my business." </p><p> </p><p> "..Now give me back my dog</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Arnold Ziffle, post: 38905, member: 43"] Subject: The Cowboy A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his BMW. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a consultant." says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; then you wanted to get paid for an answer I already knew; to a question I didn't ask; and you don't know anything about my business." "..Now give me back my dog [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Stolen from ranchers.net
Top