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Some jokes sure to put a smile on your face!
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<blockquote data-quote="Angus Cattle Shower" data-source="post: 206269" data-attributes="member: 734"><p>A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate </p><p>ship came over the horizon. The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red </p><p>shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the </p><p>pirates. </p><p></p><p> Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. </p><p>"Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the </p><p>pirates and are victorious. </p><p></p><p> Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why </p><p>do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?" </p><p></p><p> The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I </p><p>don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit." </p><p></p><p> "I see," says the cabin boy who is impressed by his captain's courage </p><p>in the face of battle. </p><p></p><p> A few days later, they sight 20 pirate ships in the distance. The </p><p>captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my brown pants."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Joke 2</p><p></p><p>On Friendship between women:</p><p></p><p> A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband </p><p>that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 </p><p>best friends. None of them knew about it. </p><p></p><p></p><p>On Friendship between men:</p><p></p><p> A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he </p><p>had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best </p><p>friends. Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over and two </p><p>claimed that he was still there.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Joke 3</p><p> Two guys from Saskatchewan die and wake up in hell. The next day the </p><p>devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens </p><p>and toques warming themselves around the fire.</p><p></p><p> The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"</p><p></p><p> The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of </p><p>snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little </p><p>bit, eh?"</p><p></p><p> The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up </p><p>the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still </p><p>dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's </p><p>awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"</p><p></p><p> Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from </p><p>Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance </p><p>to warm up a little bit, eh?"</p><p></p><p> This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two </p><p>guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing </p><p>and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from </p><p>Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling bacon and </p><p>drinking beer.</p><p></p><p> The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and </p><p>you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."</p><p></p><p> The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm </p><p>weather up there in Regina so we've just got to have a cook-out when the </p><p>weather's this nice."</p><p></p><p> The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, </p><p>he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have </p><p>been cold all their lives. So the devil decides to turn all the heat off </p><p>in hell.</p><p></p><p> The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging </p><p>everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do </p><p>anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and </p><p>heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them </p><p>back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and </p><p>down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!! </p><p></p><p> The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat </p><p>you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is up </p><p>with you two???"</p><p></p><p> The guys from Saskatchewan look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't </p><p>you know, eh?. If hell freezes over, it must mean the Roughriders have won </p><p>the Grey Cup."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Angus Cattle Shower, post: 206269, member: 734"] A 17th Century captain was sailing along with his crew when a pirate ship came over the horizon. The captain says, "Cabin boy, get me my red shirt." So, he gets his red shirt and they victoriously battle the pirates. Several days later, they spot another pirate ship off the port bow. "Cabin boy," says the captain "get me my red shirt." They again battle the pirates and are victorious. Later when things had settled down, the cabin boy asks, "Captain, why do you always want your red shirt just prior to battle?" The captain responds, "Well, in case I am inflicted with a wound, I don't want the crew to see my injury and lose spirit." "I see," says the cabin boy who is impressed by his captain's courage in the face of battle. A few days later, they sight 20 pirate ships in the distance. The captain yells out, "Cabin boy, get me my brown pants." Joke 2 On Friendship between women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. On Friendship between men: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over and two claimed that he was still there. Joke 3 Two guys from Saskatchewan die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh?" The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh?" This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling bacon and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Regina so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's this nice." The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. So the devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!! The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is up with you two???" The guys from Saskatchewan look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know, eh?. If hell freezes over, it must mean the Roughriders have won the Grey Cup." [/QUOTE]
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