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Public service annoucement for woman
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<blockquote data-quote="RebelCritter" data-source="post: 196696" data-attributes="member: 2925"><p>> BECAUSE I AM A MAN</p><p>> </p><p>> Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle</p><p>> with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in.</p><p>> AAA is not an option. I will win.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will</p><p>> pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm</p><p>> looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the</p><p>> other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all</p><p>> these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to</p><p>> start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of</p><p>> Holy Communion.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to</p><p>> bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.</p><p>> You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for</p><p>> you this isn't a problem.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic</p><p>> groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be</p><p>> expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I</p><p>> know, these are the same thing. And never, under any</p><p>> circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which</p><p>> "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops</p><p>> working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that</p><p>> this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person</p><p>> gets here and has to put it back together.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control</p><p>> in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced,</p><p>> I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was</p><p>> able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.</p><p>> The answer is always either sex, cars or football.</p><p>> I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have</p><p>> your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or</p><p>> think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got</p><p>> her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.</p><p>> And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.</p><p>> Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....</p><p>> and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will</p><p>> certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I</p><p>> thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,</p><p>> too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,</p><p>> looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>> Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will</p><p>> share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the</p><p>> cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll</p><p>> do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering</p><p>> around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.</p><p>> _____________________________________________________</p><p>This has been a public service message for Women to better</p><p>> understand the Male.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RebelCritter, post: 196696, member: 2925"] > BECAUSE I AM A MAN > > Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle > with a wire long after hypothermia, or heat stroke, has set in. > AAA is not an option. I will win. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will > pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm > looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the > other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all > these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to > start." We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of > Holy Communion. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to > bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. > You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for > you this isn't a problem. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic > groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be > expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I > know, these are the same thing. And never, under any > circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which > "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops > working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that > this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person > gets here and has to put it back together. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control > in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, > I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was > able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. > The answer is always either sex, cars or football. > I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have > your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or > think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got > her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. > And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. > Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... > and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will > certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I > thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, > too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, > looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? > _____________________________________________________ > Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will > share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the > cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll > do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering > around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do. > _____________________________________________________ This has been a public service message for Women to better > understand the Male. [/QUOTE]
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