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Coffee Shop
Men are just happier people
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<blockquote data-quote="RebelCritter" data-source="post: 577283" data-attributes="member: 2925"><p>NO WONDER INDEED!!! </p><p></p><p>BUT!! <strong>WOMEN.....</strong></p><p>* ...Aren't forced to compensate for their fathers' lack of childhood sports skills every Saturday morning throughout their formative years.</p><p></p><p>* ...Can sit and read every time they go to the bathroom.</p><p></p><p>* ...Can spend time alone with Catholic priests, Boy Scout leaders, and Baptist Youth ministers without feeling sexually threatened</p><p></p><p>* ...Don't worry about going bald</p><p></p><p>* ...Never have to rearrange their testicles while wearing tight pants</p><p></p><p>* ...Never get their sex organs caught in their zippers while drunk</p><p></p><p>* ...Don't have to constantly answer "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" shortly after their third birthday.</p><p></p><p>* ...Don't have to run a super-sharp piece of metal over their facial epidermal layer each and every morning of their adult lives.</p><p></p><p>* ...Can bludgeon someone to death with a baseball bat and then get off scot-free by claiming a "hormonal imbalance"</p><p></p><p>* ...Can commit cold-blooded murder and not only get off scot-free, but end up with a book deal and an appearance on Oprah merely by mentioning "years of violent spousal abuse"</p><p></p><p>* ...Don't have to go in a pubic women's restroom and worry about some previous occupant pissing and shitting on the seat, the floor, and the surrounding walls.</p><p></p><p>* ...ALWAYS outlive their husbands.</p><p></p><p>* ...Have a wide variety of commercial, sweet smelling deodorants for their sex organ.</p><p></p><p>* ...In a moment of anger, can call someone a <bad word> without being exiled and excommunicated from the community of humankind.</p><p></p><p>* ...know exactly what to do when a child is sick.</p><p></p><p>* ...don't have a freaky, semi-oedipal relationship with their overbearing mothers</p><p></p><p>* ...don't ever have to spit</p><p></p><p>* ...don't ever have to hold one nostril shut while blowing a huge loogie out the other</p><p></p><p>* ...have an astute, innate sense of when to change underwear before it becomes a Petri Dish for bacteria development</p><p></p><p>* ...never pull a back muscle screaming at the television during a sports event.</p><p></p><p>* ...don't have to worry about which family member will inherit and care for their collection of baseball caps</p><p></p><p>* ...never lose six hours on a Saturday morning watching fishing shows on tv</p><p></p><p>* ...can terminate a bladder emptying event without waiting for 'the shake'</p><p></p><p>* ...can tell their doctors anything</p><p></p><p>* ...Can simulate a perfect, entire sex act with nothing more than ten idle minutes and a zucchini.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and the best one of all:</p><p></p><p>* ...MULTIPLE ORGASMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RebelCritter, post: 577283, member: 2925"] NO WONDER INDEED!!! BUT!! [b]WOMEN.....[/b] * ...Aren't forced to compensate for their fathers' lack of childhood sports skills every Saturday morning throughout their formative years. * ...Can sit and read every time they go to the bathroom. * ...Can spend time alone with Catholic priests, Boy Scout leaders, and Baptist Youth ministers without feeling sexually threatened * ...Don't worry about going bald * ...Never have to rearrange their testicles while wearing tight pants * ...Never get their sex organs caught in their zippers while drunk * ...Don't have to constantly answer "What are you gonna be when you grow up?" shortly after their third birthday. * ...Don't have to run a super-sharp piece of metal over their facial epidermal layer each and every morning of their adult lives. * ...Can bludgeon someone to death with a baseball bat and then get off scot-free by claiming a "hormonal imbalance" * ...Can commit cold-blooded murder and not only get off scot-free, but end up with a book deal and an appearance on Oprah merely by mentioning "years of violent spousal abuse" * ...Don't have to go in a pubic women's restroom and worry about some previous occupant pissing and shitting on the seat, the floor, and the surrounding walls. * ...ALWAYS outlive their husbands. * ...Have a wide variety of commercial, sweet smelling deodorants for their sex organ. * ...In a moment of anger, can call someone a <bad word> without being exiled and excommunicated from the community of humankind. * ...know exactly what to do when a child is sick. * ...don't have a freaky, semi-oedipal relationship with their overbearing mothers * ...don't ever have to spit * ...don't ever have to hold one nostril shut while blowing a huge loogie out the other * ...have an astute, innate sense of when to change underwear before it becomes a Petri Dish for bacteria development * ...never pull a back muscle screaming at the television during a sports event. * ...don't have to worry about which family member will inherit and care for their collection of baseball caps * ...never lose six hours on a Saturday morning watching fishing shows on tv * ...can terminate a bladder emptying event without waiting for 'the shake' * ...can tell their doctors anything * ...Can simulate a perfect, entire sex act with nothing more than ten idle minutes and a zucchini. Oh, and the best one of all: * ...MULTIPLE ORGASMS [/QUOTE]
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