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Coffee Shop
I've about had it
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<blockquote data-quote="faster horses" data-source="post: 1744392" data-attributes="member: 17524"><p>Nesikep, I have been reading this from your first post here in 2017. I feel so bad for you.</p><p>I had a bad relationship with my father (I am an only child, his daughter) and someone suggested I read this book, "How to Hug a Porcupine." It helped me immensely, so much so that when my dad, who I hadn't spoken to for 2 years, called and asked me to come because of his health deteriorating; I was able to go. I learned from the book that I had to set boundaries. We got along fine after I told him, "I'll come, dad, as long as I am treated well. When I am not, I will leave." We got along fine after that, and I have no regrets. He thought I would take what he dished out in order to get what he had. I did not do that, I walked away. You can only take so much of a toxic relationship. I can tell you tried.</p><p></p><p>The book points out that you can never run fast enough, jump high enough etc. to please them. Just about the time you think you have their approval they jerk it away. Gist of the book, "the only thing you can do is remove THEIR POWER". In order to do that, you have to leave. </p><p></p><p>This book has helped so many people, I hope regardless of what happens, you have an opportunity to read it.</p><p></p><p>You truly will be fine; probably more fine than you have been since you came back to the farm. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it. So sorry that you were in such a toxic relationship. You deserved better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="faster horses, post: 1744392, member: 17524"] Nesikep, I have been reading this from your first post here in 2017. I feel so bad for you. I had a bad relationship with my father (I am an only child, his daughter) and someone suggested I read this book, "How to Hug a Porcupine." It helped me immensely, so much so that when my dad, who I hadn't spoken to for 2 years, called and asked me to come because of his health deteriorating; I was able to go. I learned from the book that I had to set boundaries. We got along fine after I told him, "I'll come, dad, as long as I am treated well. When I am not, I will leave." We got along fine after that, and I have no regrets. He thought I would take what he dished out in order to get what he had. I did not do that, I walked away. You can only take so much of a toxic relationship. I can tell you tried. The book points out that you can never run fast enough, jump high enough etc. to please them. Just about the time you think you have their approval they jerk it away. Gist of the book, "the only thing you can do is remove THEIR POWER". In order to do that, you have to leave. This book has helped so many people, I hope regardless of what happens, you have an opportunity to read it. You truly will be fine; probably more fine than you have been since you came back to the farm. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it. So sorry that you were in such a toxic relationship. You deserved better. [/QUOTE]
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