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Coffee Shop
in need of a proper English speaker
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<blockquote data-quote="chrisy" data-source="post: 193866" data-attributes="member: 3193"><p>Subject: In need of a proper English speaker</p><p> </p><p>Cocktail lounge, Norway: "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR." </p><p></p><p> Doctors office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES". </p><p></p><p> Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS". </p><p></p><p> In a Nairobi restaurant: "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER." </p><p></p><p> On a poster at Kenya: "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP." </p><p></p><p> On an Athi River highway: this is the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi. "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE." </p><p></p><p> In a City restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS." </p><p></p><p> A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS." </p><p></p><p> In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES." </p><p></p><p> Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED." </p><p></p><p> On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR." </p><p></p><p> In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS." </p><p></p><p> Hotel, Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID." </p><p></p><p> In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY." </p><p></p><p>Hotel, Zurich: "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE." </p><p></p><p>The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE." </p><p></p><p> In a Swiss mountain inn: "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM." </p><p></p><p>Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS." </p><p></p><p>A laundry in Rome: " LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="chrisy, post: 193866, member: 3193"] Subject: In need of a proper English speaker Cocktail lounge, Norway: "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR." Doctors office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES”. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS”. In a Nairobi restaurant: "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER." On a poster at Kenya: "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP." On an Athi River highway: this is the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi. "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE." In a City restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS." A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS." In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES." Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED." On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR." In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS." Hotel, Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID." In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY." Hotel, Zurich: "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE." The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE." In a Swiss mountain inn: "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM." Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS." A laundry in Rome: " LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME." [/QUOTE]
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