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Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
How to interpret the personal ads
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<blockquote data-quote="RebelCritter" data-source="post: 215265" data-attributes="member: 2925"><p>HOW TO INTERPRET THE PERSONAL ADS:</p><p></p><p>WOMEN'S ADS </p><p>40-ish.....................49 </p><p>Adventurer..........Slept with all your friends </p><p>Athletic.......................No breasts</p><p>Average looking.......Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful...................Pathological liar</p><p>Emotionally Secure...Medicated Feminist </p><p>Free spirit.................Junkie </p><p>Friendship first......Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun.............................Annoying</p><p>Gentle...................... Comatose</p><p>Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic</p><p>New-Age..............All body hair, all the time</p><p>Old-fashioned............Lights out,missionary position only, no BJs </p><p>Open-minded............Desperate</p><p>Outgoing...............Loud and Embarrassing </p><p>Passionate................Sloppy drunk Poet....................Depressive Schizophrenic Professional..............Certified B**** Redhead....................Bad dye-job</p><p>Romantic............Looks better by candle light </p><p>Social.........Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray </p><p>Wants Soulmate........Stalker </p><p>Widow.......Drove first husband to shoot himself</p><p>Young at heart............Old bat</p><p></p><p>MEN'S ADS </p><p>40-ish.............52 and looking for 25-yr-old </p><p>Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR </p><p>Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back</p><p>Educated..............Will patronize the S*** out of you</p><p>Free Spirit.........Banging your sister</p><p>Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie</p><p>Fun............Good with a remote and a six pack</p><p>Good looking.......... Arrogant </p><p>Very good looking..... Dumb as a board </p><p>Honest................ Pathological Liar Huggable.............Overweight, more body hair than a bear </p><p>Likes to cuddle.......Insecure mama's boy Mature................Older than your father</p><p>Open-minded........Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested</p><p>Physically fit............Does a lot of 12-ounce curls </p><p>Poet.............Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall </p><p>Sensitive............Cries at chick flicks</p><p>Very sensitive........Gay </p><p>Spiritual...........Got laid in a cemetry once</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RebelCritter, post: 215265, member: 2925"] HOW TO INTERPRET THE PERSONAL ADS: WOMEN'S ADS 40-ish.....................49 Adventurer..........Slept with all your friends Athletic.......................No breasts Average looking.......Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful...................Pathological liar Emotionally Secure...Medicated Feminist Free spirit.................Junkie Friendship first......Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun.............................Annoying Gentle...................... Comatose Good Listener......... Borderline Autistic New-Age..............All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned............Lights out,missionary position only, no BJs Open-minded............Desperate Outgoing...............Loud and Embarrassing Passionate................Sloppy drunk Poet....................Depressive Schizophrenic Professional..............Certified B**** Redhead....................Bad dye-job Romantic............Looks better by candle light Social.........Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray Wants Soulmate........Stalker Widow.......Drove first husband to shoot himself Young at heart............Old bat MEN'S ADS 40-ish.............52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated..............Will patronize the S*** out of you Free Spirit.........Banging your sister Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie Fun............Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking.......... Arrogant Very good looking..... Dumb as a board Honest................ Pathological Liar Huggable.............Overweight, more body hair than a bear Likes to cuddle.......Insecure mama's boy Mature................Older than your father Open-minded........Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested Physically fit............Does a lot of 12-ounce curls Poet.............Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall Sensitive............Cries at chick flicks Very sensitive........Gay Spiritual...........Got laid in a cemetry once [/QUOTE]
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