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Coffee Shop
Hospital Chart Bloopers
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<blockquote data-quote="Victoria" data-source="post: 296072" data-attributes="member: 1258"><p>Who says working in a hospital can't be fun......</p><p>></p><p>> Actual writings from hospital charts:</p><p>></p><p>> 1. The patient refused autopsy.</p><p>></p><p>> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.</p><p>></p><p>> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.</p><p>></p><p>> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she</p><p>> was</p><p>> very hot in bed last night.</p><p>></p><p>> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a</p><p>> year.</p><p>></p><p>> 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it</p><p>> disappeared.</p><p>> ></p><p>> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to</p><p>> be depressed.</p><p>></p><p>> 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.</p><p>></p><p>> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission</p><p>></p><p>> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but</p><p>> forgetful.</p><p>></p><p>> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.</p><p>></p><p>> 12. She is numb from her toes down.</p><p>></p><p>> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.</p><p>></p><p>> 14. The skin was moist and dry.</p><p>></p><p>> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.</p><p>></p><p>> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.</p><p>></p><p>> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.</p><p>></p><p>> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,</p><p>> until</p><p>> she got a divorce.</p><p>></p><p>> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for</p><p>physical</p><p>> therapy.</p><p>></p><p>> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.</p><p>></p><p>> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.</p><p>></p><p>> 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.</p><p>></p><p>> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.</p><p>></p><p>> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.</p><p>></p><p>> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Victoria, post: 296072, member: 1258"] Who says working in a hospital can't be fun...... > > Actual writings from hospital charts: > > 1. The patient refused autopsy. > > 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. > > 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. > > 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she > was > very hot in bed last night. > > 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a > year. > > 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it > disappeared. > > > 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to > be depressed. > > 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. > > 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission > > 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but > forgetful. > > 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. > > 12. She is numb from her toes down. > > 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. > > 14. The skin was moist and dry. > > 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. > > 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. > > 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. > > 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, > until > she got a divorce. > > 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical > therapy. > > 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. > > 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. > > 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. > > 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present. > > 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. > > 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. [/QUOTE]
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