Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Hollywood Lessons
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="*Cowgirl*" data-source="post: 430800" data-attributes="member: 4045"><p>1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. </p><p>2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. </p><p></p><p>3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. </p><p></p><p>4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. </p><p></p><p>5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. </p><p></p><p>6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. </p><p></p><p>7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. </p><p></p><p>8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. </p><p></p><p>9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. </p><p></p><p>10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. </p><p></p><p>11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. </p><p></p><p>12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. </p><p></p><p>13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. </p><p></p><p>14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. </p><p></p><p>15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="*Cowgirl*, post: 430800, member: 4045"] 1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. 8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. 14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Hollywood Lessons
Top