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<blockquote data-quote="cowgirl580+" data-source="post: 221692" data-attributes="member: 3949"><p><strong>How do you identify a bald eagle?</strong></p><p>All of his feathers are combed to one side.</p><p></p><p><strong>What do you get when you cross a python with a porcupine?</strong></p><p>Ten feet of barbed wire</p><p></p><p><strong>A marine biologist was telling his friends about some of his most recent research findings.</strong></p><p><strong> "Some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles," he said.</strong></p><p><strong> "What the heck would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked his sarcastic friend.</strong></p><p><strong> "I'm not absolutely sure," the expert said, "but it sounds something like 'Can you hear me now?'"</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>What did the policeman say to his belly?</strong></p><p>I've got you under a vest.</p><p></p><p><strong>With his squad at attention, my father's drill sergeant began inspecting their rifles. Grabbing one soldier's M-1, he peered down the barrel only to be stared back at by a spider.</strong></p><p><strong> "Two demerits," yelled the sergeant.</strong></p><p><strong> "Why two?" asked the private.</strong></p><p><strong> "One for keeping an unclean weapon," said the sergeant. "And one for keeping an unauthorized pet."</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>The halls of the shopping mall that I manage were clluttered with boxes. So I had the mainteneance staff check the labels and place the packages in front of the stores they belonged to. The next day, I got a call from the manager of a furniture store wondering why there were so many boxes piled up outside his door.</strong></p><p><strong> "What's the name of your store?" I asked him.</strong></p><p><strong> "This End Up."</strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cowgirl580+, post: 221692, member: 3949"] [b]How do you identify a bald eagle?[/b] All of his feathers are combed to one side. [b]What do you get when you cross a python with a porcupine?[/b] Ten feet of barbed wire [b]A marine biologist was telling his friends about some of his most recent research findings. "Some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles," he said. "What the heck would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked his sarcastic friend. "I'm not absolutely sure," the expert said, "but it sounds something like 'Can you hear me now?'"[/b] [b]What did the policeman say to his belly?[/b] I've got you under a vest. [b]With his squad at attention, my father's drill sergeant began inspecting their rifles. Grabbing one soldier's M-1, he peered down the barrel only to be stared back at by a spider. "Two demerits," yelled the sergeant. "Why two?" asked the private. "One for keeping an unclean weapon," said the sergeant. "And one for keeping an unauthorized pet."[/b] [b]The halls of the shopping mall that I manage were clluttered with boxes. So I had the mainteneance staff check the labels and place the packages in front of the stores they belonged to. The next day, I got a call from the manager of a furniture store wondering why there were so many boxes piled up outside his door. "What's the name of your store?" I asked him. "This End Up."[/b] [/QUOTE]
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