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<blockquote data-quote="farmerjan" data-source="post: 1425339" data-attributes="member: 25884"><p>I am a single mother. Yes, way past the age at 63 now. I was married, had my son and then got divorced several years later. I DID NOT have anymore because I could not afford them on MY PAY, and did not think it right to bring a "BAST#@D" into this world. No marriage, no child. Yes accidents/mistakes do happen. My son was an accident as I was on birth control, but I was married so okay, done deal. I do not condemn someone from having a child outside of marriage, it happens....ONCE.....I do not say that someone should not get help on occasion. But my belief is , gov't help for a single parent with one child, I will allow for a SECOND " OOPS", mistake. Then no more. Sew it closed or cut it off. No more support after the MAXIMUM of 2. I agree that REQUIRED sterilization for "welfare" benefits after the 2 maximum. </p><p>Drug tests by hair folicule or by on site peeing in a cup at the office....or some other way to insure that it is legit. Only food that is on a "grocery list". And work for the "welfare". Be it women working in a school while the kids are in class so no need for babysitters at crazy hours cancelling.... or at whatever job they want as long as they work. Same for men. Does not have to be hard physical work so the ones with "MEDICAL ISSUES" cannot cry about how they can't do it. There is no pride in taking care of yourself and your family. No work, no food for adults. No I don't want to make the kids starve. But they need to be monitored and the kids put into a healthy environment so they will prefer to be there. We provide all these after school and other "safe places" so then feed the kids there, don't give the parents the means to rip off the system any worse than they already do.</p><p></p><p>I know it would not be perfect and that there are a gazillion ways to get around things. But we have got to stop it somewhere somehow. </p><p></p><p>And if there is a man in the relationship to conceive these kids (guess they still do that the old fashioned way), then he HAS to marry her or at least (know 2 cases very well and I nearly came to blows with one about how I was tired of paying for his medical expenses) take financial responsibility instead of them living together and the state/gov't paying for all her expenses while he is right there. Seen it in too many cases. My money is going to help them have these kids with no cost or sacrifice to themselves. I hate that as much as anything. And was actually told that it wasn't my money but the state was giving them the check....they didn't get that my money was paying towards it through my taxes....</p><p></p><p>In Va it has to add up to 80, I am pretty sure...age and years of service....my son has 12 more years I think he said; he is 43 ... will be 55 with 25 yrs service at VDOT. And he has worked with the idiot public and will deserve all the pension and retirement he gets. If he had gone there right out of school would have been able to retire at 50 maybe?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="farmerjan, post: 1425339, member: 25884"] I am a single mother. Yes, way past the age at 63 now. I was married, had my son and then got divorced several years later. I DID NOT have anymore because I could not afford them on MY PAY, and did not think it right to bring a "BAST#@D" into this world. No marriage, no child. Yes accidents/mistakes do happen. My son was an accident as I was on birth control, but I was married so okay, done deal. I do not condemn someone from having a child outside of marriage, it happens....ONCE.....I do not say that someone should not get help on occasion. But my belief is , gov't help for a single parent with one child, I will allow for a SECOND " OOPS", mistake. Then no more. Sew it closed or cut it off. No more support after the MAXIMUM of 2. I agree that REQUIRED sterilization for "welfare" benefits after the 2 maximum. Drug tests by hair folicule or by on site peeing in a cup at the office....or some other way to insure that it is legit. Only food that is on a "grocery list". And work for the "welfare". Be it women working in a school while the kids are in class so no need for babysitters at crazy hours cancelling.... or at whatever job they want as long as they work. Same for men. Does not have to be hard physical work so the ones with "MEDICAL ISSUES" cannot cry about how they can't do it. There is no pride in taking care of yourself and your family. No work, no food for adults. No I don't want to make the kids starve. But they need to be monitored and the kids put into a healthy environment so they will prefer to be there. We provide all these after school and other "safe places" so then feed the kids there, don't give the parents the means to rip off the system any worse than they already do. I know it would not be perfect and that there are a gazillion ways to get around things. But we have got to stop it somewhere somehow. And if there is a man in the relationship to conceive these kids (guess they still do that the old fashioned way), then he HAS to marry her or at least (know 2 cases very well and I nearly came to blows with one about how I was tired of paying for his medical expenses) take financial responsibility instead of them living together and the state/gov't paying for all her expenses while he is right there. Seen it in too many cases. My money is going to help them have these kids with no cost or sacrifice to themselves. I hate that as much as anything. And was actually told that it wasn't my money but the state was giving them the check....they didn't get that my money was paying towards it through my taxes.... In Va it has to add up to 80, I am pretty sure...age and years of service....my son has 12 more years I think he said; he is 43 ... will be 55 with 25 yrs service at VDOT. And he has worked with the idiot public and will deserve all the pension and retirement he gets. If he had gone there right out of school would have been able to retire at 50 maybe? [/QUOTE]
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