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<blockquote data-quote="Ouachita" data-source="post: 1758367" data-attributes="member: 16802"><p>Couple of funny experiences with uninvited guest.</p><p></p><p>Census taker.</p><p>Kids raised goats to show and they'd gotten out. I was trying to heard them back in when I noticed one of those smart cars coming up the drive. A young portly fellow hops out and starts telling me who he is. The goats promptly loaded into his car. </p><p>I don't think we were counted for the 2010 census.</p><p></p><p>Jehovah's Witnesses.</p><p>About 1991, I working in the yard. It was hot summertime and I was shirtless. A car pulls into the yard. There are a couple older men in the front, and two very young ladies in the back.</p><p>I could tell they were training the young ladies about how to spread their word, and the teenage girls were very nervous. I walked toward them and began the conversation.</p><p>I was polite and tried to settle them. I asked them if they were nervous, and told them not to worry, that I'd make this easy on them. With their backs to the car, we agreed that I smile and occasionally nod my head. I was only 21yo, so I asked the 18yo on a date and she asked for my phone number.</p><p>She didn't call me for 3 YEARS! And I was married by then.</p><p></p><p>Got time for another……..The UPS driver.</p><p>About 20 years ago, I had some really bad pain that radiated from my neck down into my arms. I went home early from day job and fashioned a homemade contraption to help relieve my pain.</p><p>No one else was home yet. I went out on the front porch and pitched one end of a ratchet strap up over a purlin, then made a "noose" with the other end. I positioned the ratchet right in front and a little above my face.</p><p>I slowly ratcheted myself up until I was standing just barely on my toes. Relief!!!</p><p>Then I hear a vehicle. UPS drivers don't let the grass grow. I was scrambling to release the ratchet. Too late dammit! The new driver, (I later learned that Kelly was her name), was obviously concerned. She asked me if I needed any help.</p><p>As my distorted face was supporting my weight, I was able to say "no, I can do this by myself".</p><p>Kelly left me hanging. We eventually met under less stressful circumstances and laugh about it to this day. Every UPS driver around here gives me thit about that since.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ouachita, post: 1758367, member: 16802"] Couple of funny experiences with uninvited guest. Census taker. Kids raised goats to show and they’d gotten out. I was trying to heard them back in when I noticed one of those smart cars coming up the drive. A young portly fellow hops out and starts telling me who he is. The goats promptly loaded into his car. I don’t think we were counted for the 2010 census. Jehovah’s Witnesses. About 1991, I working in the yard. It was hot summertime and I was shirtless. A car pulls into the yard. There are a couple older men in the front, and two very young ladies in the back. I could tell they were training the young ladies about how to spread their word, and the teenage girls were very nervous. I walked toward them and began the conversation. I was polite and tried to settle them. I asked them if they were nervous, and told them not to worry, that I’d make this easy on them. With their backs to the car, we agreed that I smile and occasionally nod my head. I was only 21yo, so I asked the 18yo on a date and she asked for my phone number. She didn’t call me for 3 YEARS! And I was married by then. Got time for another……..The UPS driver. About 20 years ago, I had some really bad pain that radiated from my neck down into my arms. I went home early from day job and fashioned a homemade contraption to help relieve my pain. No one else was home yet. I went out on the front porch and pitched one end of a ratchet strap up over a purlin, then made a “noose” with the other end. I positioned the ratchet right in front and a little above my face. I slowly ratcheted myself up until I was standing just barely on my toes. Relief!!! Then I hear a vehicle. UPS drivers don’t let the grass grow. I was scrambling to release the ratchet. Too late dammit! The new driver, (I later learned that Kelly was her name), was obviously concerned. She asked me if I needed any help. As my distorted face was supporting my weight, I was able to say “no, I can do this by myself”. Kelly left me hanging. We eventually met under less stressful circumstances and laugh about it to this day. Every UPS driver around here gives me thit about that since. [/QUOTE]
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