Menu
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New media
New media comments
New profile posts
Latest activity
Media
New media
New comments
Search media
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles and first posts only
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Joke
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Help Support CattleToday:
Message
<blockquote data-quote="wildsawmill" data-source="post: 946842" data-attributes="member: 14540"><p>Red Skelton's -- Recipe for the perfect marriage </p><p></p><p>1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.</p><p></p><p>2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.</p><p></p><p>3. I take my wife everywhere... but she keeps finding her way back.</p><p></p><p>4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.</p><p></p><p>5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.</p><p></p><p>6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.</p><p></p><p>7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."</p><p></p><p>8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.</p><p></p><p>9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"</p><p></p><p>10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.</p><p></p><p>11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.</p><p></p><p>12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.</p><p></p><p>13. The last fight was my fault, though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"</p><p></p><p>Can't you just hear him say all of these? Those were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.</p><p></p><p>And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wildsawmill, post: 946842, member: 14540"] Red Skelton's -- Recipe for the perfect marriage 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere... but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault, though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" Can't you just hear him say all of these? Those were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Daily Joke
Top