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Be Responsible
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<blockquote data-quote="la4angus" data-source="post: 292778" data-attributes="member: 132"><p>OLD VERSION:</p><p></p><p>>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his</p><p>>house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's</p><p>>a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come</p><p>>winter,</p><p>>the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so</p><p>>he</p><p>>dies out in the cold.</p><p>></p><p>>MORAL OF THE STORY: Be Responsible</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>MODERN VERSION:</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his</p><p>>house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks</p><p>>he'sa fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come</p><p>>winter,</p><p>>the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know</p><p>>why</p><p>>the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold</p><p>>and starving.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering</p><p>>grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a</p><p>>table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How</p><p>>can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is</p><p>>allowed to suffer so?</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody</p><p>>cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where</p><p>>the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse</p><p>>then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that</p><p>>the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call</p><p>>for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"</p><p>>retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing</p><p>>to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having</p><p>>nothing</p><p>>left</p><p>>to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the</p><p>>government.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a</p><p>>defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of</p><p>></p><p>>federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent</p><p>>welfare</p><p>>recipients.</p><p>>The ant loses.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of</p><p>>the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens</p><p>>to be the ant's old house, c rumbles around him because he doesn't</p><p>>maintain it.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>The ant has disappeared in the snow.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the</p><p>>house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who</p><p>>terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.</p><p>></p><p>></p><p>></p><p>>MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican</p><p>></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="la4angus, post: 292778, member: 132"] OLD VERSION: >The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his >house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's >a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come >winter, >the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so >he >dies out in the cold. > >MORAL OF THE STORY: Be Responsible > > > >MODERN VERSION: > > >The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his >house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks >he'sa fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come >winter, >the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know >why >the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold >and starving. > > >CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering >grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a >table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How >can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is >allowed to suffer so? > > > >Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody >cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." > > > >Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where >the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse >then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. > > > >Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that >the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call >for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share. > > > >Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," >retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing >to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having >nothing >left >to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the >government. > > > >Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a >defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of > >federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent >welfare >recipients. >The ant loses. > > >The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of >the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens >to be the ant's old house, c rumbles around him because he doesn't >maintain it. > > >The ant has disappeared in the snow. > > >The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the >house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who >terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. > > > >MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican > [/QUOTE]
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