What changed?

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I have run in to a situation twice recently that has me wondering what is going on.

My son is 16 but has not finished all his stuff to get a DL yet. He and several of his buddies were in summer school this summer. They had to get there about 8 and would get out around 11:30. One buddy had a job past us so I asked him if he minded dropping him off on his was. It iss 2 miles off his route, one way, 4 total. Those boys loved grabbing Whataburger for lunch when they get out so I told my son to buy his lunch for dropping him off. Teenagers get double meats, cokes, mega-sized, etc... as they should. That runs about $10-12. It seemed like a fair deal to me. His parents cut it off and said he couldn't.

Yesterday my son and another friend wanted to go to the near by larger town to eat and go to movies and what ever else. That friend has actually been working with my son painting a fence on a job we lined up for them. $12/ hr to scrape and paint. I asked my son if they wanted to pick some parts up for me in town since they were there. I told that kid I would pay him for his time and mileage. I thought it was good experience for them plus saved me a trip. They picked up on item then his parents said no more and they came back.

What am I missing here? I am not questioning another parents choices here at all. Their kids, there cars, their rules... no questions asked.

When I grew up we got to drive if we did things for people. Meaning my parents or my friends parents would send us on errands. You can take the truck if you go feed cows for me. If yall are going that way, bring me x, y ,z. We were constantly helping out. Yall can party this evening but need to knock out these things first. I remember going and working cattle or building fence with friends so they could get done faster and would could go out. Just 2 weeks ago some friends of mine, dad retired and they threw a big party. I was there at 8am to help cook and set up even though the party started at 3. Their dad did a ton for us with boats and toys because they lived on the lake. We always invested our sweat equity. He would have a few limbs to trim or some thing to haul off when we came to play but it was always a more than fair deal to us.

On the flip side, I know some of the dads of my friends have put in a good word for me with other people for jobs. I worked with 2 of them actually in O&G. Thats the most basic form of networking, early on, you can do, IMO.

I feel for these kids because their parents don't seem to be allowing that opportunity. Ive heard both those parents talk about they hope they kids go to college, find jobs, etc. What has changed that these parents feel this way towards working? My parents would literally hire us out with out asking us. We tried to lock the door and hide one time and my parents told the guy where the key was and to just go in and get us. :LOL:
 
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Are the kids doing something other than what you're being told when they're together? I don't know your kid and don't want to offend you by speculating, but maybe their parents are worried about some reckless driving, smoking, drinking, etc.
 
Are the kids doing something other than what you're being told when they're together? I don't know your kid and don't want to offend you by speculating, but maybe their parents are worried about some reckless driving, smoking, drinking, etc.
I kinda thought along those lines. That's dangerous stuff but the mega-sized cokes , that's a deadly addiction. ...
 
My oldest boy got his driver's license well ahead of anyone in his class. So I gave him rules including no driving any of his friends. I did that because I knew they would all be asking for rides. Some good some not so good. So I just eliminated all of them.
A month or two later I was at my youngest daughter's soccer game. I was sitting with a powerful state senator whose daughter was on the same team. I explained to him the rules I gave my son and why. The next year there was a law passed in Washington that gave all new drivers the same rules my son had. The first six months after getting your license you are only allowed to have family members riding with you.
 
They were already eating whataburger before he started driving him. They were meeting there after any ways. My son is more of a sweet tea person.

This is a good group of kids. They can't even dream up the stuff I was doing at that age. They go to pizza places to play games and watch movies still.

I guess I'm behind on the times. We counted it down until the first one in our group got their license. I was one of the youngest in the grade and never had issue catching a ride. I just chipped in on gas and food or what ever. There parents never offered up fuel or any thing when we ran errands for them. I thought I was being real fair.

I remember leaving school in one vehicle to go to a fiends, having another one come pick is up to go to party, and catching a different ride home. I did the same with others when I had my license. Every body just packed in trucks and cars and you went with who ever was going your way. There were older guys in high school that I hunted with that would come by the middle school and me and their brother would just jump in the bed of the truck and take off with them.

Guess that is not the way things are done any more. I'll see the one parent this weekend. I'm just going to ask and find out. Yall got me wondering now. I feel kind of bad.
 
I have run in to a situation twice recently that has me wondering what is going on.

My son is 16 but has not finished all his stuff to get a DL yet. He and several of his buddies were in summer school this summer. They had to get there about 8 and would get out around 11:30. One buddy had a job past us so I asked him if he minded dropping him off on his was. It iss 2 miles off his route, one way, 4 total. Those boys loved grabbing Whataburger for lunch when they get out so I told my son to buy his lunch for dropping him off. Teenagers get double meats, cokes, mega-sized, etc... as they should. That runs about $10-12. It seemed like a fair deal to me. His parents cut it off and said he couldn't.

Yesterday my son and another friend wanted to go to the near by larger town to eat and go to movies and what ever else. That friend has actually been working with my son painting a fence on a job we lined up for them. $12/ hr to scrape and paint. I asked my son if they wanted to pick some parts up for me in town since they were there. I told that kid I would pay him for his time and mileage. I thought it was good experience for them plus saved me a trip. They picked up on item then his parents said no more and they came back.

What am I missing here? I am not questioning another parents choices here at all. Their kids, there cars, their rules... no questions asked.

When I grew up we got to drive if we did things for people. Meaning my parents or my friends parents would send us on errands. You can take the truck if you go feed cows for me. If yall are going that way, bring me x, y ,z. We were constantly helping out. Yall can party this evening but need to knock out these things first. I remember going and working cattle or building fence with friends so they could get done faster and would could go out. Just 2 weeks ago some friends of mine, dad retired and they threw a big party. I was there at 8am to help cook and set up even though the party started at 3. Their dad did a ton for us with boats and toys because they lived on the lake. We always invested our sweat equity. He would have a few limbs to trim or some thing to haul off when we came to play but it was always a more than fair deal to us.

On the flip side, I know some of the dads of my friends have put in a good word for me with other people for jobs. I worked with 2 of them actually in O&G. Thats the most basic form of networking, early on, you can do, IMO.

I feel for these kids because their parents don't seem to be allowing that opportunity. Ive heard both those parents talk about they hope they kids go to college, find jobs, etc. What has changed that these parents feel this way towards working? My parents would literally hire us out with out asking us. We tried to lock the door and hide one time and my parents told the guy where the key was and to just go in and get us. :LOL:
I completely understand. I'm older than my sister enough to almost be her dad and raised her because her dad was a POS and the stuff that kids will and won't do now and are and are not allowed to do... It all astounds me. I remember cutting timber, doing fence, taking on horse gigs and so on so I could take my girlfriend on a date and being allowed to cut loose after that as long as I came home by a certain time sober.

My sister? Oh, she just gets whatever for nothing but has no real expectations placed on her despite the fact that I taught her how to do a hundred things. On top of that, she has rules placed on her that I just don't get.

When I was that age, if you were working and staying away from the bad crowd you could do whatever within reason. I guess I turned out bad, I only have a good marriage, kids, property, a good job, never been behind bars, etc.
 
Yeah it certainly has changed. In my day we counted down to the very day we could get our license and were raring to go, independence at last. These days half the kids are 19-20 and parents are telling them they need to think about getting their license. I just can't fathom that. And we were the same, you'd do any job if you got to drive there. I used to cart fruit here there and everywhere, way overloaded in the old ute. One place i used to go to pick up mandarins had a great dane that would stare at me through the window as i was going up the drive.

I give my kids jobs around the place and since they were about 8 would do any job i gave them if they could take the 4 wheeler. I've had to give them a clip around the ear a few times for doing burn outs but i did the same, and copped it too. One daughter whos 12 can reverse trailers like a pro already. She surprises me.

I think in OP case there might be a misunderstanding and they may be concerned your using their son. I would chat to them like you are going to. If they have their reasons so be it but best if everyone understands each other.
 
I completely understand. I'm older than my sister enough to almost be her dad and raised her because her dad was a POS and the stuff that kids will and won't do now and are and are not allowed to do... It all astounds me. I remember cutting timber, doing fence, taking on horse gigs and so on so I could take my girlfriend on a date and being allowed to cut loose after that as long as I came home by a certain time sober.

My sister? Oh, she just gets whatever for nothing but has no real expectations placed on her despite the fact that I taught her how to do a hundred things. On top of that, she has rules placed on her that I just don't get.

When I was that age, if you were working and staying away from the bad crowd you could do whatever within reason. I guess I turned out bad, I only have a good marriage, kids, property, a good job, never been behind bars, etc.
"Never been behind bars" is overrated!🤣🤣🤣🤷‍♂️
 
Yes, things have changed a lot. When I was in ag, the senior year was a 2 hour class and we frequently went to farms/ranches and got hands on experience or went out to the fairgrounds to work on the arena or livestock exhibit area. We would leave the highschool in our personal vehicles and usually all were packed as not everyone in the class had a car or license. No one ever thought anything of it back then.
You may be over thinking it tho..
Perhaps it's just liability issues or concerns by driver's the parents?
Insurance companies look for any reason nowadays to deny paying a claim and some insurance won't cover if the vehicle is being used by the listed driver as a 'taxi/carpool' or for business purposes (being part time parts runner for you) at the time an accident takes place.
I know I was worried about my daughter hauling her friends around. Accident happens and her fault, other's fault, nobody's fault there was increased claim risk if she was involved in an accident and any of her passengers were injured.
 
"Never been behind bars" is overrated!
Put me in the list of having seen the Big House iron bars closed behind me. ONCE!1967 17 yrs old. :rolleyes:
Driving back the 8 miles from town to home, got pulled over in a POS 6 cyl automatic with a gazillion miles that wouldn't get out of it's own way former Hou city police car (blue & white with the PD emblem just razor scraped off the doors) . Allegedly speeding (5 miles over the 45 mile speed limit.) Went to get my lic out for the officer and realized I had left my wallet behind at home.
He took me to Baytown jail because I had no proof of ID or lic. (they did that a lot, to teach younguns a 'life lesson' I suppose) Had to get my friends' mom to post bail, whereupon I got my driv license from home, presented it within a hour, & the officer dropped the charge on the spot.
Funny now, but my parents sure didn't thinks so at the time. (they were up at the farm at the time and no cellphones back then so I couldn't call them)

:ROFLMAO: :LOL:
 
Yes, things have changed a lot. When I was in ag, the senior year was a 2 hour class and we frequently went to farms/ranches and got hands on experience or went out to the fairgrounds to work on the arena or livestock exhibit area. We would leave the highschool in our personal vehicles and usually all were packed as not everyone in the class had a car or license. No one ever thought anything of it back then.
You may be over thinking it tho..
Perhaps it's just liability issues or concerns by driver's the parents?
Insurance companies look for any reason nowadays to deny paying a claim and some insurance won't cover if the vehicle is being used by the listed driver as a 'taxi/carpool' or for business purposes (being part time parts runner for you) at the time an accident takes place.
I know I was worried about my daughter hauling her friends around. Accident happens and her fault, other's fault, nobody's fault there was increased claim risk if she was involved in an accident and any of her passengers were injured.
Liability that was what I was thinking. Folks are sue happy.
 
Put me in the list of having seen the Big House iron bars closed behind me. ONCE!1967 17 yrs old. :rolleyes:
Driving back the 8 miles from town to home, got pulled over in a POS 6 cyl automatic with a gazillion miles that wouldn't get out of it's own way former Hou city police car (blue & white with the PD emblem just razor scraped off the doors) . Allegedly speeding (5 miles over the 45 mile speed limit.) Went to get my lic out for the officer and realized I had left my wallet behind at home.
He took me to Baytown jail because I had no proof of ID or lic. (they did that a lot, to teach younguns a 'life lesson' I suppose) Had to get my friends' mom to post bail, whereupon I got my driv license from home, presented it within a hour, & the officer dropped the charge on the spot.
Funny now, but my parents sure didn't thinks so at the time. (they were up at the farm at the time and no cellphones back then so I couldn't call them)

:ROFLMAO: :LOL:
Never said I hadn't been arrested or detained, but I don't consider the two whole hours I spent there as time "behind bars" because I never even saw the inside of a cell except to use the toilet and I was the only one in the whole place.
 
Put me in the list of having seen the Big House iron bars closed behind me. ONCE!1967 17 yrs old. :rolleyes:
Driving back the 8 miles from town to home, got pulled over in a POS 6 cyl automatic with a gazillion miles that wouldn't get out of it's own way former Hou city police car (blue & white with the PD emblem just razor scraped off the doors) . Allegedly speeding (5 miles over the 45 mile speed limit.) Went to get my lic out for the officer and realized I had left my wallet behind at home.
He took me to Baytown jail because I had no proof of ID or lic. (they did that a lot, to teach younguns a 'life lesson' I suppose) Had to get my friends' mom to post bail, whereupon I got my driv license from home, presented it within a hour, & the officer dropped the charge on the spot.
Funny now, but my parents sure didn't thinks so at the time. (they were up at the farm at the time and no cellphones back then so I couldn't call them)

:ROFLMAO: :LOL:
I spent 6 hours in Moscow idaho jail for trying to buy beer when I was 18. Dang fake ID 🤣🤣
 
on the first example maybe they didn't want him eating that much junk? can't imagine either one really.

I hire mine out without asking all the time. and dang straight I have errands if they use my vehicle. I will make some up if I don't.
I agree with the hiring out your kids part. Work and wholesome activity has it's own rewards. Service to others is even better.
BTW-Calling Whataburger junk food is near heresy around when I live. My grandmother, back in the 60's when she was in her late 70's, used to say a hamburger was nearly the perfect food. She said you have your meat, bread, cheese, and salad right there in one place.
 
Some parents are helicopter parents, they just have to have their thumb on top of there kids at all times. My ex wife was this way. She had to know where and what my son was doing at all times. I think it is a control thing.
Knew this guy, he wanted to hunt and have guns and all of that and his mother was against it so he moved out. He came home one day and she was in his living room with his guns out, yelling at him and telling him she disapproved. He asked her what the heck she was doing in his house and she said she let herself in. She'd let herself in a window. He had her trespassed and she was bawling about how can he do this to his mother. She had that control problem.

Some people...
 

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