Daily Chuckle

[Ouachita]

My current wife doesn't cook, has done things like burning a pot of boiling salted water, cooked a ham one Christmas and stuck an entire jar of cloves in it making it inedible, wants steaks cooked well done, but has a plenty of 'redeeming qualities'. Enough so that we've made 30 years together.

My wife can cook when she wants, but she'd rather be doing something outside. Her most famous dish is "throwtogether", which is a mix of the last couple or three nights leftovers.
I knew this going in, or rather, I didn't care.
She had me hooked when I made a surprise visit. I drove up and seen two white legs protruding from underneath a 1979 Chevy pickup, sandals on one end, cutoff shorts on the other. She was replacing her header gaskets.

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[Warren Allison]

A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

 

[Travlr]

View attachment 44640

Is that why politicians come in second? I always thought it was because they were the bigger horses ass...

 

[CowboyRam]

 

[coachg]

Find you a woman that says this ; marriage advice for the day .

 

[lynnmcmahan]

Hope the wife doesn't see this

Read this to the wife , pause, she said don't get it.

 

[Hereford2]

And you Still married her???

My first wife invited me for dinner once. She made microwave chicken wings. When she put them on my plate, they were almost thawed out.....

 

[SmokinM]

My first wife invited me for dinner once. She made microwave chicken wings. When she put them on my plate, they were almost thawed out.....

Had to laugh when I read this as it was a very similar story when my wife and I started dating. It was frozen chicken breasts and she had every intention of putting soy sauce on them when they came out the microwave so they had flavor! Get in the truck woman we are going out to eat and tomorrow I will fix you dinner. Been married 13 years, she has a lot of redeeming qualities, cooking is not on that list!

 

[CowboyRam]

Sounds like we need to bring back home economics to the schools.

 

[coachg]

I have just the opposite problem. I married one of the best cooks on Sand Mtn . I weighed about 165 when we got married. I push the scales down to about 250 now . The only 2 things she's not great at cooking is biscuits and dumplings. They are good but not as good as my momma's. Please don't tell her I said that .

 

[4hfarms]

I worked in the kitchens for a living back then. She is the neighbors problem now...

And you Still married her???

 

[greybeard]

she's not great at cooking is biscuits and dumplings. They are good but not as good as my momma's.

Seems to be a phenomenon of global proportion...

 

[coachg]

Seems to be a phenomenon of global proportion...

if she was good at those 2 I'd be 350 !

 

[coachg]

 

[gman4691]

 

[Ouachita]

My wife has been so easy on me this past week, I had to start riding my own azz.

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]

I found this book in my parents basement, I'm an only child!!

 

[coachg]

 

[Travlr]

Fuel spill at pump #5... No worries, Angela has it under control.

I found this book in my parents basement, I'm an only child!!View attachment 44822

This thread seems to be having issues. @Marie Try posting something to it. The only way I could post was to reply to a former post... and then it came up on my own former post.