You Might Be a Farmer If...

[onecowfarms]

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip
for equipment parts is a vacation.

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden
hose before your wife would let you in the house.

You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population,
herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years
ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased
a piece of equipment.

You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors
crops.

 

[alabama]

I ain't never used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper. At least I don't think so. I don't know what a velvetleaf plant looks like. I also carry TP on most everthing I have and I always have a pocket knif to trim off a little shirt tail if I get cought without.
All the others I have done more than once.

 

[johndeereboy]

what about if...

your best pair of pants has manure stains at the bottoms

you go to (where ever) with shoes that have manure in every little nook and cranney.

 

[TexasBred]

I ain't never used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper. At least I don't think so. I don't know what a velvetleaf plant looks like. I also carry TP on most everthing I have and I always have a pocket knif to trim off a little shirt tail if I get cought without.
All the others I have done more than once.

What about if "every pair of pants you own has at least one front pocket missing cause you cut it off and used it CAUSE you forgot the TP". The Original Handywipe

 

[CUZ]

All of your underwear turns blue in the late fall and winter.

Reason: (If you don't know, see below.)




















Because you start wearing and breaking in your new heavier overalls, and since they're new, the blue fades on to your "whites".

 

[MikeC]

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden
hose before your wife would let you in the house.

That's exactly why I put me a shower, complete with hot water next to the back door. :shock:

 

[I luv herfrds]

You've ever collided at an intersection with a neighbor because you were both looking at the crops on the other side of the road.

You've timed your FIL to see how long it takes him to leave the shop and chase after his just serviced tractor that is being returned. (5 seconds) :lol:

 

[larryshoat]

I've done about all of it except the velvet leaf . My wife's birthday is July 10 which is in the middle of wheat harvest here so she knows she is out of luck until the last bale of straw has strings on it.

Larry

 

[cfpinz]

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden
hose before your wife would let you in the house.

That's exactly why I put me a shower, complete with hot water next to the back door. :shock:

Your poor neighbors...

 

[Angus Guy]

Using velvetleaf ain't that bad they're soft. Just don't grab a bull nettle by mistake!!

 

[samm]

im a pregnant cow backside watcher, and a calf manure watcher, our kids laugh, the closer it gets calving time, i watch the cows po po's more often, and of course comment on them. i have also been known to say about our baby calves,,, look at that doo doo, thats some good doo doo. thay say it stinks, i tell em it smells like money, then i get the eye roll... :lol:

 

[I luv herfrds]

You are the wife when you make the husband strip and rinse off in the front yard, after putting the baler away in a shed that has a a skunk in it. Done that.

 

[john250]

You are the wife when you make the husband strip and rinse off in the front yard, after putting the baler away in a shed that has a a skunk in it. Done that.

Also a pretty sure sign you don't have close by neighbors.