you aint gonna belive this **** part 2

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brownmule

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now while talking to larry @ 911 he wants me to talk to the deputy… but having a hard time patching me in. what's there to talk about..i have an intruder who is messed up in my house!!!! I told him. Then I looked over at my ferret cage. This has young squirles that I raised from 2 wks old. And knowing that if the cops come in my house. Im gonna be busted for harboring wildlife no matter why I have them..and since doug and both work they 'd put me under the jail….
Larry was still to to connect me to the cops. I told larry.. heres the deal.. im taking the go phone w/me. If he wants to talk to me he can call me I m physically removing her from my house and they can come pick up in the driveway !!!
I took the beer from her and told her now I thrown you out of my house!! Grabed her by the arm. Jerked her up off the sofa. Gave her her cane, and drug her to the ft door.
Now keep in mind totally out of it, in someone elses short that are 5 sizes too big. Hanging on her can. And the top of the shorts rolled down as far as they will go bullt almost falling off her.. well I dragged her down the steps yelling not so nice things to her but trying not to create a skin tear. Willing I had gloves and a BSI suit on. Get her to the gate and the phone rings it the deputy go figure… I let go of her to answer the phone. And oh yes…..MY SHORTS are around her ankles !!! oh that imagine is not leaving my mind for a long time.. so I tell the deputy what has took place no I have her out of my house standing at the gate. She had pooped her pants now has mine on which are way to big have now fallen down. Around her ankles naked standing in the ft of my drive way for all the neighbors to see.. now shes your prob come and get her!
He tells me there is a st police close by hell bee there shortly about 25 min latter he pulls up.. I guess they figured because it was me I'll handled the situation or what I don't know…I thought about opening the gate and setting her free, which I did but then she took a header in the bushes…so I pulled her out of the bushes yelling at her "for godssake Karen pull your pants up!!! Oh yeah I suffered multiple moonings that eve.. now shes still staggering around with me having a mule hold on her arm the states hadn't got there yet when I had got her half way down my drive way when doug pulls in. not knowing what in the world is going on. At frist he doesn't see Karen he sees me mad as ....all get out.. he told me later that didnt know what took place but he wasn't sure he wanted to get out of the pathfinder.. then Karen looks up see's doug and oh yes…. Looses grip on my shorts.. oh yeah… there they went.. then she says…..awwwaa he seen my …….
Oh I wanted to kill her… I told her if she hadent of ..... her pants then everybody in the neighborhood wouldn't seen her ...... It takes a good 10 mins to pull the shorts up.. that's a long time let me tell you !!!!!! she gets them up I let go of her she falls down again. This time I leave her in the drive way, drop the tail gate on my truck and have a sit down and wait on the cops. She telling me to help her up and sit her in in my car.. I told her she was full of it apparently we had helped her enough !she could just lay in the drive and wait on the cops! I was putting her skankie in my car! the st showed up by then all the neighbors had noticed something was going on at the cochrans.. prob thought what s that crazy mule lady up to now LOL…
I talked to state told him what had took place who she was, where she was staying. They couldn't under stand how she got past the Dobermans.. but they they were hanging on the gate bark'en and growling. I yell at them NOW You WAKE UP..! told the cops I was gonna put a boot in thair buts !!!! then the other st police showed up apparently this was a pretty funny event ! they were waiting on the deputy to show up to do something with her.. 14 ppl went down the rd past our house.. with me madder than all get out. Confused husband 2 st cars and a county "barney". And a half naked drunk woman . I went in the house to ck if any thing was missing other a case of beer. Then I noticed amanda's dog Nellie dog meds.. that were on the kitchen widow sill had been moved.. oh yeah Karen took about 7 doggie prozac between sat eve and Sunday eve.
But that was all that had been bothered I thought they would take some place like a mental hosp, but no… county got a trash bag from me made her some " potty pants" and took her home ! I could press charges but like the st said she isn't gonna pay a fine. I told him yeah your right me and you will end paying for court cost.. but the scarry thing is that when I came into my house. If I had my purse instead of dirty clothes, I could of shot her !!! he told yes mam.. I know.. not because of who she was but there was an intruder in my house ! nothing was done to her.. other than a free ride home.. if that all that was gonna be done I could of saved the county some $ and drug her the rest of the way home ! she was told to never come here again . now I lock my doors and chain and lock my gate before we go to the farm…
The state police told me well look at it this way your gonna have a good story for a couple weeks ! I told him yeah its gonna start out… you all aint gonna belive this ...... !!!!!
 
All this rambling made no sense. It went one way then abruptly went the other. What on God's green earth are you talking about. Calm down and try again.
 
I understood the whole thing.. Why did she move so close to yall? The dogs did their best,if they'd killed her you'da had to have them put down.... Did you tell the cops about the prozak she took? There is a bright side,you could have found her dead in your bed!!! BTW,she'll remember the beer and be back.
 
yes i am glad she was ok, it could of been way worse if the dogs would of got her.. well it would of been the breed.. thing.. attack dogs and all. they are bark.. most ppl dont try them...
the next day i talked to the hardware store { who is next door to her apt} said they had probs w her getting into ppl cars while they were shopping and wouldnt get out till they took her to get beer.. then the grocery store manager came in to hardware store. said he had prob w her getting in to ppl cars at the store... she is baned from both places.. but what are they gonna do.. nothing. i called adult protective services on monday. nothing they could do.. one of these days shes gonna stumble out in ft of a car. or something. she moved there w/ a boy friend it turns out no he has flowen the coop. she has been ran out of the next county. so i guess she's landed here. crazy...
 
How'd the next county get rid of her? Might try the same thing. If people would call the cops when she was in their car 'sted of buying her beer,she might have to spend a few days in jail..then she'd move on. (hope)
 
You handled it better than I probably would have. First of all my dogs WOULD have killed her (Alagasco did not read my meter for FIVE months once for fear of the dogs) so I would have been in the legal quandry of calling the law and risk charges or bury her and risk worse charges?? If that had not happened I would PROBABLY have shot her dead and probably been in a worse place legally.
 

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