Women Drivers

[Campground Cattle]

Driving to the office
this morning
on the Interstate,
I looked over to my
left and there was a

woman

in a brand new

Cadillac

doing 65 mph

with her
face up next to her

rear view mirror

putting on her eyeliner.


I looked away

for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was


halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.


As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much,

I dropped
my electric shaver,

which knocked

the donut

out of my other hand.

In all
the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against
the steering wheel,

it knocked

my cell phone

away from my ear

which fell

into the coffee

between my legs,

splashed,

and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone,

soaked my trousers,

and disconnected an
important call.




Women should not be allowed to drive! !

 

[jfont]

My wife fusses me when I drive with my knees so I can use both hads to take a dip. But at least my eyes are on the road instead of on the mirror.