Old time poster.....some of you hopefully remember me. I try to still swing by once in awhile. Question for the board about women changing last names, or not changing last names. :help:
Quick background, MM is getting married! :banana: MM, as many of you know, is Dr. MM and has been that way for several years. And for the last 10 years of higher education and work and play, MM has been MM current last name. Don't really want to change it. Mountains of paperwork, everyone knows me by the current last name, reputation with the current last name, etc. Compounding this is the fact that MM's first name starts with a Cla... and future Mr. MM's last name starts with a Kla... put together sounds like a train or tongue twister or something. Not a fan of the combination. It's fairly common among all my female Dr friends and acquaintances to be Dr maiden name at work, and Mrs married name socially...not that uncommon not to change or to just drop the middle name and add the new last name, eg. MM maiden name married name. Then I could go by whichever I want.
Enter the future Mr. MM's opinion. He feels it signifies not wanting to be part of "us", that everyone will look down on him for the rest of our lives because his wife doesn't think highly enough of him or respect him enough to take his last name, that refusing to do so is disrespectful, etc. I have never ever heard any of the above reasons mentioned, or anyone ever comment on a couple with different last names in a negative way....but then most of my friends are female veterinarians and I apparently need a male perspective.
Soooooo.... do you guys actually view married couples with different last names this way? I'm moving from a fairly progressive city of 50,000 to a small rural town of 3000 where the nearest large town is an hour away.. probably a similar demographic to Cattle Today folks. Thoughts, comments, etc?
Thanks all, appreciate it!
Quick background, MM is getting married! :banana: MM, as many of you know, is Dr. MM and has been that way for several years. And for the last 10 years of higher education and work and play, MM has been MM current last name. Don't really want to change it. Mountains of paperwork, everyone knows me by the current last name, reputation with the current last name, etc. Compounding this is the fact that MM's first name starts with a Cla... and future Mr. MM's last name starts with a Kla... put together sounds like a train or tongue twister or something. Not a fan of the combination. It's fairly common among all my female Dr friends and acquaintances to be Dr maiden name at work, and Mrs married name socially...not that uncommon not to change or to just drop the middle name and add the new last name, eg. MM maiden name married name. Then I could go by whichever I want.
Enter the future Mr. MM's opinion. He feels it signifies not wanting to be part of "us", that everyone will look down on him for the rest of our lives because his wife doesn't think highly enough of him or respect him enough to take his last name, that refusing to do so is disrespectful, etc. I have never ever heard any of the above reasons mentioned, or anyone ever comment on a couple with different last names in a negative way....but then most of my friends are female veterinarians and I apparently need a male perspective.
Soooooo.... do you guys actually view married couples with different last names this way? I'm moving from a fairly progressive city of 50,000 to a small rural town of 3000 where the nearest large town is an hour away.. probably a similar demographic to Cattle Today folks. Thoughts, comments, etc?
Thanks all, appreciate it!